This is not stir fry - I made this one for Ricardo from my Clean Eating Cookbook, which I read like a romance novel. And by that, I mean, I read it in bed. I study it. I review. And yes, sometimes, I just look at the pretty pictures. This is CLEAN Breaded Chicken Tandoori with Feta Cheese Pita Crisps. It was absolutely delectable. And yes, that is a large scratch in my table. Fret not, I have every intention of buffing it out in about 8 years - when the kids leave for college.

I'm cooking a fabulous clean dinner the other night. Ricardo in his consistent husbandness, takes his role of stirring the pot - literally and figuratively. He's also really funny and says to Lucy who asks what's for dinner, "Stir Fry. But I always wonder, is it stirred or fried. WHICH IS IT!?"

Lucy gets the giggles and continues her homework.

Ricardo moves to the mail. Not the mail we got today, no, but to the pile that has been collecting in our filing system on the corner of the island assumed to be marked "Stuff to take care of but will probably get piled on and neglected." He finds the letter we received and a form to fill out and opts to fill it out now, before we forget about it. The letter and form are for Max. He's been selected for some fancy award banquet for his success in high jump. (Like father, like son.)

Ricardo is interviewing Max and filling out the paperwork for the banquet.
"What is your goal for track and field and in life?"

"In track and field, it's to win nationals." Again, he's nine years old, y'all.

"Okay, what is your goal in life?"

"Uh, okay, I got it. My goal in life is to be a better person." There's a pause while Ricardo writes it all down and then Max continues,

"Because I thought Dad was a good person. But he went to UNO and got his Master's degree to be better."

And so it goes. We better each other by bettering ourselves. Pretty awesome night of filling out paper work and homework and cooking stir fry.

So, is it stirred? Or is it Fried?

That's how I roll.
Song of the Day: Stir It Up by Bob Marley

The other day I'm washing all of our road trip clothes, and I think to myself "I should wash all those new drawers and socks." So, I go grab them all and take the stupid tape off of each pair. And as I'm trying to get the stupid tape off my finger and into the trash so I can start on the next pair, I realize that Max's socks and Ricardo' socks are the same size and brand. THE. SAME. SIZE. Y'ALL.

Lucy's socks have purple toes and heels. I have super fancy running socks. So, I can tell them apart. But the boys, the son and the husband - they have the same brand, same color, same size sock. Did I mention that Max is NINE YEARS OLD? To be fair, Ricardo's are slightly bigger. At least, that's what the bag said - extra tall. That's just great, I can't find pants that fit us, but socks, no prob. Still, in my best laundering haste, there's no way I'll be able to tell them apart.

Gone are the days of the "did the dryer eat a sock?" concern. Oh no, we're now upgraded to a new sock concern.

I sink into a mini panic because how will I separate the socks? I mean really? No, seriously, someone tell me.

The best I can figure out is now I have to do laundry for them separately. Currently, I get everyone's dirty clothes into what some may call a large pile, but once they're all there in one place it's Mount St. Murrell. But now, I think I'll just do each of their laundry on separate days. This could lead to something great really. Instead of taking 4 days to do everyone's laundry. It'll only take one day to do each of their laundry.

How do you do your laundry? What's your laundry system?

That's how I roll.

Song of the Day: How You've Grown by 10,000 Maniacs

Please click on the links below. If they don't work, go to Facebook and search "Send Lyndee and Molly to Biggest Loser Season 10!!!" Click on their page, then find the links in their latest status. Click on the links, watch the videos and vote. Since you can only vote for one a day, please keep voting each day and alternate. Please, please do this!

Here's Molly's link: https://apps.facebook.com/contestshq/contests/160284/voteable_entries/40752783

Here's Lyndee's link: https://apps.facebook.com/contestshq/contests/160284/voteable_entries/40714328

As a big fan of Biggest Loser, triathlons, very cool friendships, and Molly and Lyndee, well I'm a fan of them being my fan. Go to their Facebook page and click on the links and get inspired by their message and the intense look of hope and dedication in their eyes.

Please vote for them!

That's how I roll.
Song of the Day: You've Got The Love by Florence + The Machine

This is right after Christmas, y'all. Seriously.

I think my stripes clash with her meticulous design. Or maybe her pantry makes me look fat.

As always, thank you Sophia for being such a gracious hostess to my family AND our dog. And thank you for letting me take these pictures and not hurting me while I make fun of you like you used to do when we were kids.

That's how I roll.

Song of the Day: Crazy by Patsy Cline (Wink, Wink)

Today, Molly and Lyndee need your help. And I want to help and encourage them like they did me.

They're finalists in a contest to win a MONTH at the Biggest Loser Fitness Ridge resort. The 30 second videos with the most votes by January 15th make it to the next round. Then the judges at Fitness Ridge pick 10 winners. You can vote once every 24 hours on Facebook. The only catch is that you can only vote once so the people on their page have to go every other day with them. They're hoping they don't split the vote because they both want this sooo badly. That they're sticking together even if it could split the votes is my kinda gal pals!

Please click on the links below. If they don't work, go to Facebook and search "Send Lyndee and Molly to Biggest Loser Season 10!!!" Click on their page, then find the links in their latest status. Click on the links, watch the videos and vote. Since you can only vote for one a day, please keep voting each day and alternate. Please, please do this!

Here's Molly's link: https://apps.facebook.com/contestshq/contests/160284/voteable_entries/40752783

Here's Lyndee's link: https://apps.facebook.com/contestshq/contests/160284/voteable_entries/40714328

As a big fan of Biggest Loser, triathlons, very cool friendships, and Molly and Lyndee, well I'm a fan of them being my fan. Go to their Facebook page and click on the links and get inspired by their message and the intense look of hope and dedication in their eyes.

Please vote for them!

That's how I roll.
Song of the Day: You've Got The Love by Florence + The Machine

"Well, Leslie, that's great and all, but if you're calling someone to do it, it's not really YOUR resolution, now is it?"

You're always a naysayer!

Well, listen up, it's Ricardo's resolution, because he's opted to get it fixed. Just him having this idea is a major accomplishment, as our current situation where we turn off all the lights in the kitchen and living room and then when that doesn't work, we just flip the breaker every time we're trying to microwave something for more than 3 minutes. We've been doing that for years. So that he's come this far to even suggest we fix it correctly is overwhelming and therefore, indeed, a resolution of sorts.

It is my resolution, because when he says he's going to call Josh, he really means I will call the electrician. And I so will.

But anyways, we also happened to start our Clean Eating year on New Year's Day as well. It's mostly coincidental, but the momontherocks fiscal year starts Jan. 1 Because I just decided that just now, so lets do this.

We are driving home from our Tour of Texas Road Trip on January 1, which makes our first day, vulnerable and challenging. Ever bought Clean Eating roadtrip food? Me either. The first tip to Clean Eating is to be prepared. Given that we've been bouncing around from gracious hosts and households for a solid week now, well, asking them to stock their fridge and our bellies with this bizarre new challenge on top of bringing in my entire family to embark on your house, and oh, by the way, we have the dog too.

I did find hope in our last leg of the trip, our fellow twin pals' house - they eat healthy and organic. We even have the same coffee maker. So, that makes us both awesome. This will be so easy. We'll just eat something clean, fuel our bodies with something simple, and head out on our trip. Some wheat toast, an egg, and some fruit.

I should probably mention here that our Tour of Texas road trip served dual purpose. Oh sure, I got to see some family and waltz my kids around and "It's so good to see you, look at my awesome kids and dog!" probably did come out of my mouth. But the second - probably more forceful purpose would be our last meals. Ricardo and I have some severe food eatery cravings in Texas. Tex Mex is my personal insistence and I have been known to use physical force to get someone, anyone to meet me at Pappasito's for some shrimp brochette and fajitas, those chips and salsa, and dear Lord, thank you for the Baby Jesus and that frothy garlic butter sauce. Ricardo usually requests a trip to Rosa's Café, which we hit. And usually we hit a Whataburger while we're there as well.

When my sweet new best friend (finish this sentence and you'll see why) learned of my Clean Eating quest, she understood, and so began the quest for the Last Supper\New Year's Eve Dessert. She introduced me to the most beautiful dessert ever - I'm pretty sure it was culinary greatness - a fried brownie with green tea ice cream. It was dirty and brilliant and yummy.

Since it was New Years Eve - and we stayed up late. And I cracked open a few ginger beers - hit it hard, you know - and for the record, ginger beer is delicious and not recommended for Clean Eating due to the sugar. Since I thought it might be rude to suggest what we normally do at home - celebrate NYC's New Year (or if I'm really tired, Australia's) - because really, that's staying up late enough for me already. I bucked up so as not to out myself that I'm usually in bed when the kids go to bed if not sooner. So, when Ricardo rolled over to me this morning and announced, "Happy New Year baby, it's 8:30" Well, crap. Here we go we were supposed to have left for home by 7a. We get up, get dressed, and pack the car. We said our goodbyes and hit the open road.

Our sweet friends - knowing I was going on this Clean Eating for a Year adventure, handed us organic granola bars. We head out and I announce to Ricardo that we're about to find out real soon if Starbucks is clean eats. I'm pretty sure they are not. Let's be real. And I've figured out a way to make my home coffee regimen clean. However, we're not home. And as much as I'd really like to stick to it, I'm about to not because I think it's safest if I don't experiment without coffee while driving for 10 hours. For the safety and sanity of my family, I'm gonna need a coffee and a lot of it. I hop into Starbucks with hopes of a regular coffee with organic milk and stevia or agave for creamer. I can do this. I can so do this.

"Can I help you, ma'am?"

Let's do this. Let's be clean, Leslie.

"I'll have a skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte with an extra shot of espresso, please."

What just happened? I must have had clean eating failure and guilt all over my face because Ricardo wanted to know what I got, and when I reported my purchase, my guilt and failure was confirmed.

"Um, baby, just by definition and by the title of that coffee, that's too many ingredients and not clean."

"Ok, but seriously, a 10 hour trip, baby."

"Good point, we'll start our challenge at noon."

God, I love him.

We resolve to keep trying, and by the time we make it all the way to Denton (uh, that's about 9 miles into the trip for the record.) Lucy is feeling car sick, and begging us to stop at the grocery store we'd resolved to pick breakfast up at. I grab some organic baby carrots, bananas, cuties, bare naked granola mix, and greek yogurt and off we go.

Like the granola bar, the bare naked granola mix has organic and easy to pronounce, pure ingredients, it's just that there's about 30 organic ingredients. That's slightly more than 2 ingredients rule for Clean Eating. My personal clean eats rule is 3 ingredients. The granola mix, if you're doing the math, indeed, is dirty by either standards

This isn't a successful start. But we're learning to be prepared. And probably, we should start this adventure at home. I'll keep trying to eat clean today on the road. I'm guessing since this isn't a new years resolution, and we're road tripping, well, maybe we should start this gig January 2.

I opted to keep trying and use all this new fancy technology and turned on our mi-fi and my laptop and googled healthy restaurants. Lo - y'all know what the healthiest "fast food" restaurant is? It's Panera Bread. We calculated where we'd be around lunch time - since we got a late start and all - it's Oklahoma City.

By the powers of internet, I found a Panera Bread that's closest to the highway in Norman, OK. Of course I have my Nebraska Red shirt on and we're stopping in OU country. I can't keep up with conferences and all that. I just like to see their cool shoes and bowl game stuff when I watch football. So, I check with Ricardo.

"Nah, no one should punch you in the face. At least not at Panera. You're good."

Good to know. See, this clean eating will save me. Had I waltzed into a McD's in Norman, OK with a Nebraska shirt on, I'd probably have been shanked.

I eat as clean as I can at Panera: Pick Two Combo with a black bean soup and half a smoked turkey sandwich, no mayo.

Afternoon snack is pistachios, which are clean in content - only two ingredients. But I'm pretty sure they labeled it wrong. Should be salt, THEN pistachios.

Somewhere near Concordia, KS, we realize we need dinner. Go ahead and google Healthy Restaurants in Concordia, KS. I'll wait. Yeah, there's nothing there. So, we have to go with Subway and start the real clean eats January 2, but still with effort. Subway is fairly healthy and I got as healthy as I could bear: Subway Club on 9 grain bread, toasted with a ridiculous amount of veggies.

I'm hoping after a few months of this, our road tripping efforts for clean eating will improve. But surely eating cuties instead of Cheetoh's is better. Right?

On the rest of the 10 hour trip, I study my Clean Eating Magazine menu, and assess that indeed, we've actually done pretty well. Some of the ingredients, like Akmok crackers are pure and great and you can read all the ingredients, but there's more than two listed. We did well.

That's how I roll.

Song of the Day: Our Day Will Come by Amy Winehouse

This is a large slice of my girl, Julie's Cakes. It's dirty dirty and soooooo gooooood. (Read that in a moaning voice.) It doesn't really give you energy but a false sense of joy and it also melts in your mouth AND your soul. I don't know exactly what is in this cake, because Julie and I have a very strict: don't ask, don't tell policy.

We're going to commit to clean eating for a year over here. Stop laughing. No, seriously, we're doing it. Yes we are. I've even got Ricardo on board with this wackadoodle idea.

Most of y'all know I've had the Clean Eating bug. But its more like a dating relationship - on again, off again. And it's like a threesome, or some kind of culinary love triangle with Me, Clean Eats, and all my favorite dirty dirty foods. When I'm dating Clean Eats, I'm healthy and typically losing weight. And then I crave some restaurant or someone happens to drop off a cake, and well, then I'm telling Clean Eats I can't go out that I have to get a root canal, and I go make out with my favorite dirty dirty foods. Then my face explodes, my thighs balloon. And I'm left, making them both mad at me, and my jeans don't fit.

So, I'm breaking the cycle. I'm making a commitment to one of them. And my jeans can't handle me committing to the dirty dirty eats, so I'm going with the Clean Eats.

Oh, God, Les. You're doing this whole gig again.

Down in front, bub. Look, i'm doing it, I've been doing it, but I'm committing to a year of it. Solid year. This will make me some kind of hero, I'm certain of it.

Here's our (my) rules:
1. Clean food all the time. Ricardo's already scheduled a business trip to escape me on this. I'll give him a break. But I'm in it to win it, even while traveling. Clean Eating is not the same as that raw foods diet. We'll start with the 2 week menus in Clean Eating Magazine. (When y'all check it out and start to subscribe, be sure to flood them with "Mom On The Rocks sent me" notes. They're not hip on sponsoring me...yet.)
2. All food needs to be whole. If a packaged item is purchased or used, a 1st grader must be able to read the ingredients and the item should have no more than 3 ingredients listed.
3. The kids get a little bit of reprieve on this but not much. Instead of Cheetoh's, they get Kettle Cooked Potato Chips (which have 3 ingredients.) I do allow the kids to make their own choices when we eat out. And since Max can't have chicken nuggets at most restaurants, we have some here for him. They love the homemade version anyway. More on the kids' participation later.
4. If we eat fish, the kids eat chicken.
5. We do not go out to eat unless there is a clean option.
6. I'll log everything I eat on my app: My Fitness Pal.com
7. My coffee. I'm pretty sure no one wants me to go off the coffee juice. The coffee is clean. The products I put into it are dirty. So, I've switched to coconut coffee creamer and stevia or agave.

We pretty much do this already, but not 100%. And the way I eat, 75% clean eating quickly leads to a slippery slowpe of 50% clean eating. And then the next thing you know, I'm wolfin down a Taco John's Crispy Chicken Potato Ole Burrito with extra cheese sauce and Oles. And then topping that off with a Diet Pepsi and some chocolate cake. So, yeah, we need to commit and go all in over here.

We need support from our family and friends on this one. So, if you want to meet up with ol Leslie who's good for throwing down at a restaurant, you for your shot of tequila and me for my own basket of chips and salsa, well, things are about to change. We will be THOSE people who ask what's on your menu, or who eat before we come over. Or, I'll be the jackwagon who suggests we go out to eat somewhere with an open salad bar (I know all the locations of every Jason's Deli in the US). I think Ingredients and some other place over by half-price-books might be clean eats as well. Whole Foods is always an option but I think this commitment opts out that cupcake I love so much there. I suppose I'll have to head over to where the fresh food is, whatever aisle that may be. And we'll probably be THOSE people who accept your invitation and then bring a dish, and only eat the dish we brought. We'll see. My point is, I really want to do this for a year. A solid commitment of a year. And in doing that, I'm asking my family and friends to help me do it. At the very least, simply point and laugh at my salad grazing while you get a delicious processed meal. And really, this is a gift, I officially take on the responsibility of the insanely difficult one. You're welcome.

Here's my hypothesis for this endeavor:
Number one on the list is my vanity at it's finest. I hypothesize that my acne face will clear up. I've run this by my awesome aesthetician and she agrees. Even at the idea of not seeing me once a month to zap away all my scars, freckles and sun damage. She assures me they offer other fabulous services I need.

Number two - still vain - my weight. Yeah, that's a gimme, but the weight should go down. Just in time for my 20th high school reunion.

3. Gain energy. Which would get my butt to the gym consistently. Here's hoping.

4. More expensive grocery bill. But if we're not eating out, pretty much ever, then basically we're just shifting the budget around a bit.

5. Less cost on diet food, pills, vitamins, medicine, doctor visits and maybe even the dentist. Although, my dentist is also a pal of mine, even if she won't give me a couple of friendly hits off her nitrous. Whatevs. She never bills me for lunch. So, maybe we'll go that route.

6. Less dark circles under my eyes. Perhaps this on is just wishful thinking, I'm going with it anyways.

7. Less hair. When I told my aesthetician (yeah, I have one) I was doing this, she mentioned something like, "You know, I've had people move here from another country and wonder why they're breaking out or why they are getting hair in places they never had before. It's because they eat crappy American food." Welcome to America, home of our own fast food lab rats. That makes sense. It really does.

8. Gain focus. You know, I think I'll have more energy and focus. I go and go and go all day and can't finish sentences and seem to live in a fog.

9. Better triathlon performance.

10. Withdrawal symptoms of bitchiness subside at least 100 days into this gig because I've said good bye to my beloved whoopie pies, Jo-Jo's when I get in bed at night, eating all the kids' candy, and oh dear, no way, not sure I can do it, my precious JulieCakes. Julie, being a good friend of mine will help me and not enable me, I just know it. But her business is about to take a sharp decline (I'm practically up for shareholder given how many cakes I've ordered) so, if y'all could so kindly order her cakes all year, that would help us all out. Email me at m o m o n t h e r o c k s @ m o m o n t h e r o c k s dot c o m and I'll get you on track with some seriously good cakes, y'all. Help me help her help me.

11. I report my findings, experience, cool recipes, and in true Momontherocks fashion, the crazy of it all.

And no, this isn't some kind of New Years Resolution. My idea of a New Year's Resolution involves about a 2 week stretch. This is a commitment. I hope each of you helps me on this quest, maybe even joins me on it and lets me know about it. But mostly, I hope I can count on each of you to hold me accountable.

Would love to read your thoughts, and comments on this one. Let me have it!
That's how I roll.

Clean by Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johanssen

I've been obsessing ("thinking" is a better word, but Ricardo keeps correcting me) about P90X. I know all you P90X'ers reading this just crossed your arms and made some grunting "Bring It" noise. For months, P90X just made all kind of sense to me.

First of all, I need a swift kick in my auto-pilot and some what non existent fitness level. Secondly, my thinking was that since we both work from home, that shoveling the snow off the driveway this winter, and working out at home would be a great plan. Sounds good in theory. But then we bought the kids shovels.

So, we borrowed a friend's P90X set. The first two days were great. We took the kids to school, moved some furniture, and worked out. In fact, the second day JulzHOLLA! stopped by and we were so devoted to our work out, we made her watch us do the plyometrics workout. My favorite exercise: the Heisman side jog thingy.

By day two, Ricardo couldn't scratch his nose without wincing in pain. We recognized that we were as out of shape as we'd thought in the first place and kept going.

Day three came along and the prescribed workout was Yoga. Yoga for an hour and a half, but we were only prepared for about 45 minutes. So, we had to turn it off and plan better for the next day when we had an hour and a half. Four days later, we made it priority. We dropped the kids off, moved some furniture and clicked play. Because I've only done yoga at my gym, I've never really put it all together that I'll be stretching and reaching high, so will Ricardo, and our sweet 1980's house has 8 foot ceilings. Unless Ricardo wants to scrape his knuckles raw doing sun salutations, we have a problem. We turned it off.

The truth is, my very awesome P90X plan didn't consider our house for little people, our height, or the fact that we do work from home, and it's probably a good idea to get out of the house on occasion. We fit in our house just fine, we just can't rock out an effective standing back bend like others might. Anyways, turns out, we're too tall for the combination of P90X and our house.

On top of all of that, I really miss my gym. I miss my pals there. I miss the steam room. And I miss the snack bar. So, we happily admit we are official P90X dropouts. Because we're too awesome tall for it. All you P90X'ers probably just uncrossed your "Bring It" arms in disgrace of us. It's a great workout, just not our fit. We love our gym!

That's how we roll.

Song of the day: Bring on the Night - The Police

After a lengthy discussion about budget and how fortunate we really are, Max and Lucy CHOSE to bypass the Advent Calendar this year and put that money towards helping a family. I know, they're little saints, and you probably just threw up in your mouth a little bit. But seriously, they did.

We will indeed keep with the chocolate kisses and a countdown number each day because chocolate for breakfast is a Christmas necessity here. And if for only one month out of the year, it's fun to have someone else be morning folk over here.

Still, I thought it would be fun to share some of the Advent Calendar ideas. The last couple of years, we've worked in Community Services. If you choose that route, I recommend starting off with a community service. You start off with a big toy or activity, and the expectations and then let-down factor when you get to a community service day, well, it's not the reaction of spreading Christmas cheer you were going for. Go community service first, make them earn the rest, and maybe sprinkle a few more good deeds throughout.

Traditionally, this particular secular Advent Calendar (for kids) starts Dec. 1. (per Wikipedia and me.) But it's never too late to spread some holiday cheer! Whoever thought the Advent Calendar up had one idea - little trinkets to help countdown to Christmas, and stave off those kids for 24 days. It really is a fun family activity.

So, here are 24 ideas to kick off your Advent Calendar.
1. Community service: take all your coats and wintery stuff that's too small and donate it. make them round it up, and go with you to donate it.
2. Movies.
3. Make Christmas cookies
4. Christmas book
5. Christmas pajamas (we always do this one Christmas Eve)
6. Community service: Bell Ringers!
7. Toe socks or Christmas socks of some sort
8. This is kind of cheating, but do it anyways: "School Christmas Program!"
9. Christmas Puzzle
10. Take Baby A shopping for a gift for Baby B.
11. Take Baby B shopping for a gift for Baby A.
12. Take kids shopping for Dad
13. Take kids shopping for Mom
14. Cocoa and Christmas lights. Drive around town.
15. Nutcracker!
16., 17., 18., Friday night movies and jammies - watch your favorite Christmas movie. Our favs are ELF, Christmas Story, and Grinch.
19. Durham Museum for Omaha - or a fun museum with a big ol Christmas tree.
20. Take food to the downtown ice skating rink and the foodbank and go ice skating
21. Christmas craft
22. Take those cookies you made to the neighbors or friends
23. Community service: clear out books and any games y'all don't read or play and take them to Children's Hospital.
24. Christmas cards/pictures/letters

That's how we roll.
Do you do an Advent Calendar? Other ideas?

Song of the Day: 12 Days of Christmas by Straight No Chaser

My girl, Yallison is awesome in her own right, but way awesomer this time because she's gone into the business with a pal of making the perfect perfume oils. I'd make this plug anyway because Yallison is a precious friend. But seriously, y'all, I've got SIX of these perfumes and they are perfect. Please consider shopping in her online store for gifts this holiday season. Once you try them, I promise, you'll come back for more. Just click here. Or here. Or right here.

First of all, they are a great price at $8 a piece. And they last for forever. I've been wearing Lime in the Coconut all summer, and I still have half a bottle. But my new seasonal favorites are Vanilla Sandalwood and Smile - which may or may not be synonymous with "Happy". remember "Happy"? Secondly, they are brilliantly made so that you can carry them around in your purse, your gym bag, or just leave them at home. (I've dropped mine twice and it didn't break either time.)

I love these roll on oils because they are even more Leslie Proof. By that I mean, my community thanks me. Ever get on an elevator and your nose is violated not by the silent fart, but by the over perfumed gal? Yeah, that's usually me. Forgive us, we know not what we do. Well, we know, but look, we're getting ready for work or whatever, and we feel frumpy, or we're having a bad hair day. So, we overcompensate with perfume. Because, by God, atleast we'll smell good. These rollerballs protect the community's noses from me, as you can't just spray the whole bottle on. You are welcome fellow crowds.

As I'm sure you've already checked, they make lip balms as well. Yallison made a couple for Lucy. I keep trying to snag one from her. But she hoards them, because they are that good. This may be the year that Lucy's lips don't chap and crack, because she will not go anywhere without her Yallison lip balm.

They'll make great stocking stuffers, or just because gifts. So, please check it out. And tell them Mom on the Rocks sent you.

That's how I roll - haha, get it? Roller balls!?

Song of the day: My Favorite Things on For The Kids Too! album

I've been toying with the idea of going back to work. Logically, it sounds like a good idea. Now that Ricardo works from home, I'm okay with working outside the home. I still think it's important to have a parent here when they come home from school, all the way up until high school.

I really hadn't considered it until I got an email from a student. As much as I bitch about my students and their lame excuses, nothing communicates to me more than when I hear from them after the class is over. And this one speaks absolute volumes to me on so many levels:
"I applied for this job. I don't qualify, but I know you do. You should go for it." And the ego inflated, and all was well.

The job was a very high position in Communications for a very large company here in town, and well, international as well. I don't think I qualified, but the idea nagged at me enough that I applied.

Clearly as a writer, and a teacher, and a mom, I'm well versed in rejection. And so, he never called me back...again.

The idea of working outside the home still nags me at times. Then I remember my commute to the couch in my living room, working while singing along to my well-crafted playlists and snuggled with my dog and my blanket. I remember how petrified I am to drive when it snows (6 months out of the year), and I remember how much I love to go for a jog, or a walk to stretch out my legs in the middle of the "work" day.

And then I remember, I have everything all right here.
So, here's to considering new possibilities, and embracing the ones right in front of you.
That's how I roll.

Song of the day: Thanksgiving song by Adam Sandler

I just had two compelling, comforting, and important conversations today. They were separate issues. Both were on intensely personal levels. Some days, it seems to me, coffee talk is important. Other times, those moments of coordinating when both parties can find a moment to hash out some serious shit out - because we're moms, and there's school and work, and schedules - well, they're precious moments. Most days, though, we don't have time for small talk. All we have time for is BIG talk.

By the second phone conversation, I was asking all kinds of direct questions. Some might call it nosey. But I just call it "information Leslie needs to know so as not to derive her own conclusions." Thankfully, both pals know that my intent is sincere. I found myself pulling back from the interrogation in process, and apologizing,
"Sometimes, I just need to know where you're at."

The thing is, there was a time, we didn't know where Carrie was at and by the time we did, it was too late to save her, too late to hear her voice again, and too late to be nosey. We didn't want to upset her with demands for details. She kept quiet too long. And perhaps my tip toeing was misconstrued for simply not caring. So now, I ask the questions. I take a little more time to make the calls more often and interrogate my pals. If the scheduling conflict is too much, I force noseyness via email or some type of instant messaging system. I pretty much force a more consistent friendship with them.

In continuance with that conversation I was talking to pal about a particular sitcom moment of a miscommunication in marriage. Something happened at husband's work. But husband didn't get around to telling wife about it for a week or so.

Kinda went down like this:
"Uh, hunny, I'm looking at our bank account - you need to go talk to your office payroll peeps. They over paid you."

"Oh yeah, that. I meant to tell you, I've been promoted."

The earlier stupid me would have suggested husband was hiding something, like extra money in the bank account. However, I know husband, and I know wife. And now I know where they're at because I asked the nosey questions. So, then a new question arose, "Can you get a promotion and forget to tell your wife for a week?"

Yep.

Hey, look. I know this life - there's schedules, orchestra practice, volunteer basketball coaching, dishes, laundry, a few meetings to travel for, breakfast, lunch, dinner, dance class and rehearsals, facebook and twitter updates, grocery hunting, crazy pets barfing, peeing and pooping all over the house. When the pet's not expelling foulness, they're eating homework, cotton balls, and your kid's favorite shoe/stuffed animal/lego. On top of all that, you've got to remember to shower, and brush your teeth which at some points, tends to be optional, let's be real.

The very rarity that you and your spouse go to bed or wake up at the same time is discounted by tag teaming. "I'll go get milk at the store, you make lunches for school today." Meanwhile the kids are all "Look at me, Mom!" and light sabers interrupt just about any logical thought you could possibly have, let alone articulate to your spouse.

Ricardo and I both work from home for goodness sake. And to a lesser degree, we get distracted, we forget to just talk. It happens. So, thank you friend, for the friendly reminder in letting me know where you're at, that I should also know where Ricardo's at. It's always a good check.

Yes it is possible, plausible and happening at this very moment in the best of relationships that you can go weeks without mentioning important things that happened at the office last week. Now that I think on it, I'm fairly certain we make a better effort to have sex than we do to just talk to each other. And by "we" I mean the collective universe, ofcourse.

Here's to acknowledging to make sure you know where you're at and where your loved ones are at. Most importantly here's a friendly reminder to know where your spouse is at, you know that one person you promised in a big frilly white wedding dress that you would love and take care of - in sickness AND in health. Take some time and just talk. Let them know where you're at. Or maybe, just maybe, where you're going.

That's how I roll.
Song of the Day: Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine

As Nebraska football goes, we're attached to this story of Penn State and unrightfully revered Joe Paterno and that piece of shit, Jerry Sandusky. Nebraska plays Penn State tomorrow. The lead story in our local news is those travelling to the game are taking precautions due to the stupid student riots - angry not over all these nasty details of molesting boys or defaming the name of Penn State. Not over the fact their precious coach is morally inept. No, they are angry their precious JoePa has been fired. Their actions on the streets are the very reason why kids don't speak up sooner. And so, the lead story of our local news is that Nebraska fans are taking precautions - they'll still wear their Nebraska red, ofcourse. But their precautions are that they are not going to pack their corn hats. ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

I read an in-your-face, and descriptive article that really sums it up for me on the Daily Beast. Please click and read it. Although it's a hard read, the very nature of description that people over look is, in it's own right, refreshing journalism in a very dark hour of news. It's a very good point, that instead of saying, "Sandusky was in a shower with a 10 year-old boy." As most news goes. What we really should say is "Sandusky was in a shower MOLESTING a 10 year old boy." To say "with" kind of makes us all guilty of understating the severe injustice of it all, don't you think?

Is molesting boys so common, that when a 28 year-old man stumbles on a retired coach in a shower molesting a 10 year old boy, that the grad assistant simply walks away. Is this a gender issue? Is this so common among men, that fellow men turn a blind eye?

If the same guy stumbled on some punks beating the shit out of a homeless person on the street, wouldn't he break it up? Or would he go tell his daddy?

That McQueary quietly tip toed away from saving that boy makes me sick. That he thought to tell his dad, who then suggested he report it to Paterno also makes me sick. What the shit kind of advisement is that? And why does a 28-year-old adult need to ask what to do? But that 10 years later, he's now an Assistant Coach for the very football program he apparently protected. Well, is it me, or do ya think he might have been kept on staff in an effort to keep his mouth shut? Even creepier, the guy is banned from a game, for protection. The adult. Who walked away. Later describing in detail the sounds and sights he saw. You know, the ones he walked away from protecting a kid.

Perhaps the kid saw the same video my kids did - Safe Side Super Chick and discussions of Stranger Danger when he was a little kid. But now he's 10 years old. And perhaps our conversation with our kids should grow up and change as well.

So, now, lets consider the boy who was molested in the shower. All that therapy, all that he worked through, we can't even possibly fathom. Read this account from someone who was molested.

I watched the interview of the mother speaking up in all of this. The mother who has spoken up did everything right. She listened for clues. She asked her son. When he wouldn't talk, she called the school, told them to talk to the kid. The school, by the way, listened, tended to, alerted the police, and did it all right as well. Still, her son was a victim. And that scares the shit out of me.

Ten years later, the victim who was molested in the shower finds out that someone saw him being molested, and walked away. Making McQueary the equivalent monster as Sandusky. So many have failed these kids.

And that's why no one speaks up. That's why it goes on.

As parents, we do our best to tell our kids no one should touch them. And if anyone does, the kids should tell us. The more I think about helping my kids. And the more I think about what I've told them. The more I think that the very vagueness of our conversations isn't enough. I need to arm them with more.

And so, I'm going to try my best, for the victims of this particular and malicious cover up, and for my kids, to talk to my kids. Yes, there is the potential to scare my kids. Better me and my words, than someone else's actions.

How do you (or will you) talk to your kids?

Over a year ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who's mom was dying. We were discussing the stupid things people say when someone dies. And I said, "Why can't they just say, 'I'm sorry for your loss, I baked you a cake." So, I was telling my cake making goddess of a friend about it who makes this chocolate-chocolate cake that admittedly makes me moan. And when Farley died, she showed up on my front door. With the cake.

A good friend will offer condolences. A great friend will make you a cake when your dog dies. Your favorite flavor that says, "I'm sorry for your loss. I baked you a cake." She'll remember and do all that for you.

The same friend will be on notice when your mutual friend's dog is on hospice care. She will make the cake within 12 hours while working, mothering, and part-timing a cake biz. When you get there to pick up the cake, she'll refuse your money, citing, "She's my friend too."

Then she'll know that you're not sticking around to eat the cake, so she'll make you a spare cupcake. And then hand you the extra frosting conspicuously stored in a sour cream container so as not to attract children's attention.

I took the frosting, even though I'm desperately trying to not eat so bad while I nurse this stupid pinky toe. But it's homemade dark chocolate frosting. And I HATE to be rude and all. And we headed to JulzHOLLA's. They had to put their maniacal and yet, sweet dog down. The first and only ruined and spoiled of their children - Chloe. Chloe was brilliantly deviant and loyal.

I deduced that I should eat the cupcake while we headed to JulzHOLLA's house. I mean, where else am I going to put it? God forbid it topple over. So, I did it justice and tore into it. It's. So. Delicious. It's like a firework display of cake and chocolate goodness. No one makes a chocolate-chocolate cake like this. NO. ONE.

"Mom, why are you moaning? And why are you driving so slow?"

"I'm twyong tuh eat thif cufcake. It soooo gooood."

"Can we have some?"

"No."

"Well, could you drive faster and stop moaning?"

"Yef."

"Mom, what's in that container she gave you?"

"Nuffing."

"Is it extra frosting again?"

"Yef."

So, remember next time you're consoling a friend or loved one, that hugs and prayers are always good. But best offered with chocolate.

God bless our first kids - our dog. We'll miss you Chloe. Say hi to Farley for us.

That's how I roll.
Song of the Day: Friends by Flight of the Conchords
Chloe - this one's for you: Crazy by Aerosmith

We decided to make some table top versions of our tree. (You want one? Email me at momontherocks @ momontherocks dot com)So, in order to do that, we had to set up the tree for a template reference. Yeah, our tree has been up since mid-October. I was too lazy to take it down and put it back in the basement. Surely it provoked the following conversation.

Lucy just asked me to confirm Santa Clause. Well, Max asked first. And we told him what was up. We also told him that he could talk to Lucy about it, but not really to anyone else.

So, once again, in the minivan, when Lucy has a chance, she confirms with her very natural inquisition,
"Max is lying , right Mom?"

"What do you think, Sweets?"

Silence. Oh, touche Baby A, touche. Silence is not your best game, and yet, you play it.

"Baby, Santa was a real mortal dude. He became a legend when he went and helped out a family by placing money in the stockings that were hanging in front of the fire at night. Sound familiar?"

"Yes, so Max WAS lying!?" I'm not too sure she's more eager to hang on to the whole Santa gig or to prove her brother wrong. Either would be complete elation for the rest of the year.

"Well, Lucy. See, Santa was a man. A mortal. And when he did that gig, it was a very long time ago. So, he died."

"SANTA DIED!?"

"Well, yes. He was human. I think he lived in the 1600's. So, you know, we all die eventually."

She sat and thought on that.

Well, now who can't stand the silence? Me. So, I humored the void and filled it,
"When I was a kid, I was about your age when I figured it all out. And it made me sad to know that the magic of Santa wasn't really real. But then I realized my parents had been doing all of that for me - THEY were keeping the magic going. And that's kind of cool, right?"

Big smile from my girl, but still silently letting it all sink in.

"And his name was Saint Nicholas because he was made into a saint after he died. Do you know what that means?"

"Yes." She's a first communion drop out - so, she's well versed on Sainthood.

"It means he did something really good, and so, the Church acknowledged it and sainted him. And so, the cool thing about him, and the whole being a saint thing is, it worked - his actions while he was living are passed on for hundreds and hundreds of years. We give gifts anonymously. We pass it on."

"So, Santa IS real! He lives in our hearts. And we keep his life important by giving gifts and helping others."

Holy Santa, yes! Wow.

"Yes, Sweety, we do. We keep the magic alive. And in order to do that, you can't really talk about it to other kids. You know what I mean?"

"Well, if anyone asks me, I'm telling them I believe in Santa. Because I do. What he did was really cool and that everyone passed it on makes him even cooler."

Again: Holy Santa! Seriously y'all.

And then we Lucy discussed the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Leprechauns. Lucy explained that Leprechauns probably don't exist. But the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny do. She deduced that they tap us on the hand and wake us up to put the Easter Basket or Money for the Tooth out.

I'm still in awe of the Santa conversation. So, I opt to just let her go with that about the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny for now. I get a little giggle from the idea of Lucy being a mom and still believing the Tooth fairy is real and will wake her up in the night with a wad of cash to place under her child's pillow. When THAT doesn't happen...

That's how I roll

Song of the Day: Back Door Santa