Conundrum

Today has been a fun day of us being the cool house. It's pretty rare. Most days, if the neighbor kids are available, Max and Lucy are at their houses. Although I enjoy the quiet to facebook work and write, I still sit here with just an eensy ounce of anxiety of what my kids could possibly be up to when out of my sight. It's just a slight anxiety. No probable cause for prescription drugs yet.

It also helps when the kids go off to their respective neighbor pals' houses. When Ricardo or I work from home, and the kids gather here, inevitably the kids start screaming, the the dog poops, runs through the house and barks only when Ricardo's work calls. Going over to their pals' house has its benefits.

Still, I have a secret yearning to be the cool house and have all the kids here. My pal's wife used to tell me, "When they're in high school, let them bring all their friends home for lunch. Make them whatever they want. Then just sit back and listen." Brilliant. The kids are only 8 years old but still, I should get into practice as the cool house. Probably not real cool to serve fresh fruit and greek yogurt for snacks. Water, Organic Milk, or 100% juice for drink. ALL the OTHER kids have Cheezits, Spaghettios, and cokes overflowing at their houses. Or so my kids report. I'm trying to appease the masses, but just harboring Spaghettios in my house kind of makes me throw up a little bit. I have my limits.

And since I have my limits, and "Daddy's working, y'all have to be quiet" and it's summer, well, the kids scatter. Until today, where they all migrated to the land of Leslie. All. Of. Them. It just so happens that one day about once a month, I have to grade speeches. And it just so happens that the speeches all had technical difficulties. I've been on the phone with the campus IT guy. There goes the dog with her barking, and why is there a marching band in my house? Oh wait, that's just the 9 (NINE) kids fighting to play Little Big Planet with only 3 controllers. I'm trying to deduce what would be more cost efficient: a sound proof room with a lock on the outside of the door, or 4 more PS3 controllers. I'm pretty sure the sound proof room would be more budget friendly.

I have lots of little talks with myself all day. Like, "Hey, you wanted this, remember" and "Hey, now you know how the neighbors feel all the other days of summer." That's true, because through the joyous shrills of gamers in my living room, it's Max and Lucy hitting the highest noise decibels. It is summer, they are 8 years old, and all I hear is gleeful shrieks of joy and all things fun. I opt to roll with it. I get my noise cancelling headphones out and work on.

Late in the afternoon the gang starts tapering off and going home. The last two with the announcement that their mom is going to work and the babysitter is here and they have to go home. Max takes full advantage of having some unlocked new level all to himself. Lucy has gone over to the other neighbor's house.

I power out my last two speeches on Helen Keller and Michael Jordan. (Neither were done due justice). And I stand up to get a glass of vodka water, when I notice a new girl in the house. The two kids came back and now there's a third. But who is she? I just chalk it up to the fact that I AM the COOL HOUSE NOW, mutha uckas! And I carry on. But new girl has peaked my interest. When Max rolls through, I ask, "Who is that with the kids?"

"It's their babysitter", he whispers. You can tell he thinks it's a little weird, but he doesn't really have time to care because now they are in some new land they've just discovered and he has to go create his go kart for it. He does not have time to ask questions.

The babysitter? Someone else's babysitter is at my house with their kids? I guess this is ok. What? I'm confused. I'm fascinated. The babysitter is about 12 years old. Looks as sweet as apple pie while she texts with one hand and fends Maybee off with the other.

I must admit, I've deduced what probably went on when the babysitter showed up, my neighbor probably said, "Okay kids, you can't go anywhere without the sitter."

What the mom probably meant was, you can go the park, but she has to go with you. All that. But the kids have done some fantastic problem solving. It's probably algaebra at it's finest. I can hear their wheels spinning: "Okay, Mom told us we had to come home because the babysitter was here. And then she told us we couldn't go anywhere without her. But she did NOT say, you can't go back over to Max and Lucy's." And the babysitter is just young enough to go along with their plan.

I'm impressed. But still, it's weird right?

Do I text my neighbor friend, "Hey, your kids are over here with their babysitter. Hope you're not paying her." No, that sounds like tattling. I'll save tattling for something better.

Do I send them home? On what grounds?

Do I grab Chris and go on a date and leave the kids with her sitter?

Ricardo at some point tells me to calm down that nothing's wrong. But I'm not mad at all. I'm actually kind of amused. I'm conflicted, do I do nothing or do anything? It's a weird funny interesting, situation. I mean, if I'm paying a kid to watch my kids and the babysitter goes over with the kids to play, that's weird, right?

I opt to do nothing, and then I make dinner. Max asks me what's for dinner. And so I proudly announce: "Ginger Soy Chicken with Edamame Stir Fry."
Max assesses that announcement and is okay with it. But the neighbor kids look at each other with ICKY GROSS FACES and grab their babysitter head home.

My job here is done.

That's how I roll.
Song of the Day: Beautiful Stranger