Clothes Swap Body Swap

I realize and wholly acknowledge that this is one of my favorite and newest outfits.

I went to a clothes swap. In theory, it sounds like a really great idea. I mean, reduce, reuse, recycle, and all that, right? But I had reservations - like if I bring my clothes, will anyone laugh? And will anyone have clothes to fit me? I'm guessing no pants nor shoes for this six footer. But it might be fun to bring some size 11 heels. Or maybe one of my full length skirts would make a stellar tube top dress. I dunno.

My suspicions were confirmed that indeed, I have very shitty clothes. I don't know what it is, but they suck. Really. No, don't try to cushion the blow. Seriously, they're consistent with poor selection, comfort (Stacy and Clinton's least fav word) and completely out of date and fashion. I don't know what it is. Some of the clothes I took I seriously bought just a few months ago. And they're total crap.

The other downer. I should have worn my spanx, because my front butt was just on full display. Jeans and a thin long sleeve tshirt will do that these days. I've waited 5 weeks to actually be concerned for cramming my cottage cheese butt into a suit for a trip to Jamaica.

By going to this swap meet, I've only depressed myself further. I snagged the only three tops in my size (large), and one of those items was a hat. I'm just sayin. The rest were all smalls and size 8's or smaller. It turns out that all of my very sustainable eco-friendly pals are size "you really shouldn't be here, Les". Is this an intervention, y'all? And if so, for which of my vices and bad habits is this for?Is it the fashion or for cupcake intervention? Tell me now. Help me. Teach me your ways oh fashion conscience and eat-righter friends of mine.

I walked out begging them to take my clothes to Goodwill, trying to guess what they'd be giggling about once I left - the size, or the audacity of some of the pieces I left.

That's how I roll.

Song of the day: Teach Me How To Dougie by Cali Swag District