I'm pretty sure there was money at Vegas on when I'd be THAT mom.

This one was just lurking in the dark, waiting for me to give in and be THAT mom. To my defense, I had Ricardo's complete support as well as his own contribution.

When I refer back to my coaching days... WHAT? They LET you coach? ...yes, I know. They let me have children, too. Anyways, when I refer back to my coaching days, I always say, "Coaching would have been fine except for the parents."

I once had a kid's mom call me at work, and threaten to send her husband up to kick my ass. No lie. Quite frankly, that didn't scare me at all. I was more afraid of fighting the wife than the husband. That, and at the time, I worked for a bunch of retired military guys. They were excited at the potential for battle and of course, to protect me from harm. I clinched and prayed I'd still have a job the next day. The husband never showed up. All of that was over playing time and the team wasn't winning enough to the woman's expectations. Did I mention the kids girls were 12-years-old?

I also had a girl one time, who got a volleyball serve in her face because her parents were "instructing" her from the bleachers in the back and apparently the whistle to begin play, nor me asking them to leave her alone wasn't enough. And kablammo, Tachikara tattooed on her face. Very helpful, sir.

So, really, it's been my experience that parents ruin coaching. And the people willing to coach are true heroes. I mean, a fireman knows, and is trained to walk into a fire. A new coach, usually starting out to just help his kid's pee-wee team, may know about the sport, but has not been trained to deal with the wrath of parents. Parents - in the name of their precious children - lose their effn minds.

When we signed Max up for football this year, they had a huge parents' meeting, and the only thing I remember said was one rule: "You can't approach a coach with any questions after a game. You must wait until Monday. Coaches are emotional, usually. Parents are emotional. Wait a day." That is brilliant. As a parent, a former coach, a simple spectator, and a communications instructor, that is flippin brilliant.

And we've got some helicopter parents on the team. Just a couple. You know the ones, you're just waiting for them to go run onto the field to tell Bobby to make sure he TACKLES someone. Nice input. Don't get me wrong, I'm certain I have the reputation for the lady who effn breaks glass when she screams for her son. Hey, it's not my fault Max is THAT good. Oh God, I'm THAT mom too. Shit.

Anyways, Max is pretty good, but the team has been losing a little bit. Okay, fine, all the games so far. We start seeing a progression of the coaches first, and then the kids getting really frustrated. It was to the point that the last game escalated to a lot of mixed communication to 8-year-old kids that I didn't deem necessary, helpful, nor allowed at all.

Mind you, I'm teaching interpersonal communications, among other things. And everything that happened at that game is what NOT to do in my awesome lectures. So, we waited til Monday and sent an email. Lo, I'm THAT mom. I'm THAT parent. While stewing for the prescribed 24 hours, I waited for Ricardo to tell me how out of line I was. He was only reinforcing my grievances. We ended up composing the email together. Then we edited it. And send.

Dammit, I'm THAT mom. But I just can't back down from his one. Granted, I didn't offer up my man to go kick anyone's ass. Just asked for a little revival of more positive influence. Because, it's been a while since I've seen a coach at any level and thought, "Wow, that guy BELONGS in coaching." But this guy, he really does. I really want to tell him, "Seriously dude, QUIT YOUR DAY JOB!" He just comes alive when he coaches, and he knows his football. Its apparent.

Thankfully, I think our email was received just as intended. And from my working days in marketing, nothing impresses me more than a follow-up, and action on the follow-up. I don't think we were the only parents that said something.

That's how I roll
Song of the day: Lonesome Dove Theme Song