This summer has me busy crazy. I realize that I induce the crazy on myself what with teaching and triathlon training and all that. However, I'm not crazy enough to teach triathlon training. So, that's good. And really, who would pay for this: "Uh, you just swim and then bike and then run. But you can walk if you want. And really, I'll show you how to cut corners and enjoy the whole experience but you'll be able to tell all your friends you did a triathlon. It's gonna be great. Now, swim over to that cooler and grab me a beer."
I'm also trying to be present for my kids. I'm waking up early and working and grading. Still, some things I have to prepare for during the day. I suppose I could just not sleep. There's that option. But I am mortal and all. I just wish Edward would hurry up and change me already. Woops, sorry. Wrong story...
So, instead I've been waking up at times that even my father would think were crazy fairly respectable and trying to get stuff done before the kids get up. I thought it was working out well until I explained to Lucy one day what our schedule was like for the week. She informed me, "Mom, why are you always working or working out? Can't you just play with us? You never play with us anymore."
"Well, I never played with you in the first place. That's what I had twins for. So you could play with each other." I'm kidding. That's not what I said outloud.
Uh, interesting. I'm around all the time. The kids want nothing to do with me. But okay, I'll still take that little nugget of guilt you just handed me, kid.
So, since then, I've been really concerned that I'm not doing this whole motherhood gig right. I have too much other stuff going on. I can't remember what I planned for the next day. The kids are sleeping in and staying up late. I'm trying to find a good balance between chillaxing at home and letting them play with their pals and keeping them on a busy summer schedule. And none of it's working.
I've been trying to come up with the perfect schedule. But just writing that out takes too much time. I love all of the things I do. And when I'm not busy, I'm a mess. So, do I stay busy? Do I quit everything and sit and wait for my kids to play with me? Do I prioritize my time better? Do I wake up earlier?
I suppose I could just do what I've been doing for the last 36 years - multitask my ass off and hope it works. I'll just keep doing it.
I'm glad we've had this talk...again.
That's how I roll.
Song of the Day: You've Been So Good Up Til Now by Lyle Lovett
Leave a comment