Accessories - Why I'm sticking with Triathlons

Oh yeah, we went there. This is our last-swim-before-a-triathlon-swim-hat. And yes, it really is a swim hat, not a swim cap. It gives us lots of drag for training, along with our hips and unshaven legs. We're committed to training, folks. Well, committed atleast. I made this picture sepia-toned as it deemed a good fit what with looking like a picture right out of the 1930's and all. So, you can imagine how fantastically bright these hats really are. We were the belles of the ball in the pool today. For sure. We may not "win" races, but we sure look good losing them!

If you'll remember from last year, I got this wild hair to try Triathlons. And then I suckered JulzHOLLA! into it. I wish I could say we've been training for this season all year. But mostly, we've been looking into upping our accessory wardrobe more than anything.

Spring is here. Well, it was, and then it left, and now it's coming back in the form of extreme wind. Since the last triathlon, I've purchased bike shorts, a new bike, shoes that clip in to new bike (Remember when I said I should never be clipped in to a moving vehicle?), a new swimsuit, about 7 pairs of goggles, these really cool stretchy zip-tie shoe laces, new running shoes, special bike socks, and a wetsuit.

Did you say wetsuit? Why yes I did. Everytime we tell someone we got wetsuits, they re-assess our less than muscular and sleek physiques get that cocked-to-the-side like a confused dog who's just heard a high pitched sound look and say, "Wow, you guys are serious abut this triathlon stuff!"

Well, sort of. Can you sort of be serious about triathlons? Is that possible? If so, that's us. We're doing the workouts but we're more committed to coordinating our outfits. The wet suit was a quick and bold move because most of our schedule this year - That's right we have a SCHEDULE because we're cool like that - most of our schedule involves swims in lakes. And swims in lakes up here in the arctic tundra will be cold. When it warms up for 2 months out of the year, it turns out, that's not enough time to for lake water to warm up.

So, we bought wetsuits when they were on sale. Because nothing says, "I'm not a serious athlete" like committing to a $500 dollar wetsuit. We waited for the ridiculous sale, and got the sleeveless suits. It's hard enough squeezing my thighs into this neoprene, by the time I got my arms in a suit, the triathlon would be over and the kids graduated from college. Besides, I'm not paying for a full wetsuit and then getting it on and realizing I'm in capris and a 3/4 sleeve. I'm too big. A sleeveless gig will be just fine.I don't need to feel my arms anyways. That's overkill.

Ordering a wetsuit when you live in Nebraska is just weird. All the books and articles suggest you go to your local triathlon store and get measured and get a custom fit wetsuit. Mmmm Hmmm...now where was that triathlon store again? Oh, right, there's none for 3,000 miles. So, you have to order it online. And maybe a few phone calls are involved, "Hi Sue, me again, Leslie in Nebraska. Hey, okay, so I'm tiny up top and have giant thunder thighs and a bit of badonka donk. And I'm 6'3. That's not on your size chart anywhere...."

Sue instructed me to get a men's suit. I was only slightly offended until I tried it on. And then I was the happiest men's wetsuit wearing woman ever. I felt like a superhero. I wonder if it would ruin the precious neoprene to sew a cape onto it? It's like a Spanx for your entire body, y'all! I will pass on this little nugget of information though: don't try on your suit in front of anyone you want to look you in the eye for the rest of your life. Ricardo was devastated. He's getting through it with medication and therapy. Getting a wetsuit on is extremely delicate and rough all at once. Imagine putting pantyhose on that are 1/4" thick and four sizes too small. You know when you start and your foot seems too fat and you have to dislocate your ankle to get your foot in - you know it's not going to be pretty. So, my advice is to have someone on stand-by...but in another room...with the door closed. Cover all mirrors. You shouldn't see your body do this either.

You'll need someone close by to help you zip it up. Because the zipper goes in the back. JulzHOLLA! might have tried hers on backwards. Still, it fit. And she was good with that. It wasn't worth it to take it off and turn it around and try again. That's another day's workout.

As far as the swim hats go. That was a bit of a communication error. It's a very Laverne & Shirleyish story. I explained that they have flowered swim caps with actual flowers, but also that they have flowered PRINT swim caps. I said it'd be funny to have the printed flower swim caps, but JulzHOLLA! thought I meant the actual flowered hats. So, she surprised me with them. I explained that no way in hell was I wearing that at a triathlon. And neither was she. We are fun and crazy. But we are also busting our asses. I insisted that she know she is an ATHLETE!

I think we are starting this season eager. Last season, we started, uh, petrified.
This season, our goal is to improve our times each triathlon. Tomorrow we leave for our first triathlon of the season. I'm looking forward to starting another season and journey, with JulzHOLLA! and all of these fabulous accessories, especially the swim hat.

That's how I roll.
Song of the Day: "How Far We've Come" - Matchbox Twenty