Clean Eating

I picked up a Clean Eating Magazine the other day. I have all kinds of recipe books and magazines on cooking, but eating? Tell me more! I was curious. And then I was totally hooked. I've gone from eating an entire box of Twinkies to trying to figure out how to plant more vegetables and get a grass fed cow on my lawn. Up to this point in my life, Clean Eating would suggest that I observed the five-second rule if food dropped on the ground. And let's be real, it can be stretched out to 10 seconds just depending on the recency of the last mopping gig.

Clean Eating is basically eating and cooking with whole foods in their most natural state. No preservatives. No chemicals. Nothing you can't pronounce on the ingredients label.

This is a big ixnay on my Diet Coke-ay abit-hay. Coffee was still okay, but that creamer I must have is not. I'm not okay with that yet. But I have switched from splenda to agave and like it better.

My biggest problem is that I'm not a big fan of water. I used to sneak Diet Coke into my water bottles at workouts. Not even kidding. Water is overrated if you ask me. But if I'm going to do this Clean thing, I suppose I should consider water. Especially since vodka's no longer an option either. So, I've started putting orange slices in my water bottle with water, not vodka. And it's delicious. It works! And everyone's jealous at the gym, I'm sure of it. Strolling around with luxurious orange slices in my water. The nerve. Whatever, it's working.

I picked up some soy milk the other day to replace my very unclean french vanilla flavored sugar free coffee creamer. I put it in the cart and wondered - if you're supposed to eat whole foods in their most natural state, how is milk made from a bean plant whole? That's processed right?

Then I got to talking to a lady who is serious about this stuff. She gets her milk from a farmer and makes her own yogurt, y'all. She's done loads and loads of research and confirmed my suspicions. She was not impressed with my soy milk purchase. And went on to explain really crazy stuff about hormones and just said, "It's processed food." Exactly. That was the longest two days of icky coffee ever. I went back to the unclean creamer.

I mean really - does anyone look at this and say, "Wow, that's totally allllllll natural."?

I'm now a subscriber to the http://www.cleaneatingmag.com/minisite/ce_index.htm for the recipes, ofcourse. But in the magazine, there was an ad for a Clean Eating book. So, I got it and read it. The book is way different than the concepts of the magazine. The book was basically a diet. Although she swears it's not a diet but instead a way of life, I don't see myself eating 4 egg whites, oatmeal with flax seed and bee pollen, an apple, and 2 pieces of fruit for breakfast. The book seemed more like a bodybuilding type diet. I kept reading, but never really fully bought into her theory of clean eating. Then I got to the chapter where she explained her boob job, and I was out. Really? An entire book on why you should put only natural products in your body, but stuffing silicone in your chest for "symmetrical purposes" is okay? And from the pictures, I'm guessing her lips and face have been done too. I finished the book disappointed and resolved to simply use the magazine.

Ricardo isn't so sure about all of this yet, but for the most part, at home, we are already clean eaters. Still, just the commercials and interviews on talk shows with Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution are enough to freak me out and start taking a hard look at what my kids eat in a day. I've recorded all of the shows, but since I'm such a popular and busy socialite, I've missed every show because it's on Friday nights. Or, it's just a coincidence. Still, I'm waiting to watch them with the kids.

In the meantime, another coincidence, (or a desperate attempt to answer questions of parents watching Food Revolution) the kids brought home a food diary to fill out and a new food pyramid that splits up your fruits and veggies and then my favorite part - this pyramid says that a kid should have 6-11 servings of grains. WHAT? 6-11? And it doesn't say whole grains, just grains. And they count the stale white bun on the burger they serve at school. At school, they serve 5 options of entrees a day. FIVE! And then that nasty thick chocolate milk. And then, my other favorite part - there's a cart for them to walk by and if they want, they can get a fruit sitting in a vat of syrup, a bowl of lettuce they refer to as a salad (or as the kids put it - that stuff I use to shovel Ranch Dressing in my mouth with), and pickles for a vegetable. PICKLES FOR A VEGETABLE!

My Mother-In-Law told me one time to let them have lunch at school, and then give them the healthy stuff at home. Let them have some control of their choices at school. That makes sense, but the more I take my head out of the sand, the harder it is to not force them to bring their own lunch with whole grains and fresh fruit. And in an effor to not be THAT MOM and march up there and re-structure their whole menu - I'll leave that to Jamie Oliver. And I'll just insist my kids take their lunches to school.

I've been having a ball cooking new recipes and knowing they are good for us. Don't get me wrong, I crave a burger now and then. And I go for it.

That's how I roll.