Ever drive down the road and notice a sign that you've passed probably hundreds of times?
I was driving Lucy to that ballet class the other night and I see a sign that says:
"Depression is the leading cause of suicide."
And I said in my head, "No shit, Sherlock."
Out loud I said, "That's weird."
The kids demanded to know what I was talking about, but how do you explain depression, suicide and stupid claims that someone actually paid money to put on a billboard all to 7-year-olds? So, I made something up. I guess it's okay to lie to your kids.
Today I came up to a bumper sticker that said, "My Border Collie is smarter than your Honors Student." Oh snap! And then I saw she wasn't wearing her seat belt. It seems her dog is smarter than her too.
I have developed a knack - honed a skill, if you will - of decoding license plates. Here in Nebraska, one of the first things I did to fit in was get a personalized license plate. KICKASSMOM wouldn't fit. So, I went with a phrase from the Princess Bride. And I spread love and smiles all over Nebraska. I've had people stop me in a parking lot to tell me how much they loved it. We've had people behind us at a stop light take pictures of it. All with smiles. I spread joy and laughter and fond memories of Andre The Giant throughout Nebraska.
Decoding license plates here has been fun. They are usually an expression of their love for Nebraska Football. The occasional clever ones are fun too. One of my favorites is a guy in my neighborhood who's license plate is simple and perfect: USE SOAP. The other day I ran across one that said LKY 13. It had a big dent in the back fender. Fantastic. I laughed and explained that one in full detail to the kids.
That's how I roll on the roads of Omaha.
