Man vs. wild

I've been looking at pictures of myself lately and thinking, "Something's not quite right." Haven't been able to figure it out, but desperate for a high-falutin makeover. Help! So, if Stacy and Clinton don't come knocking from that simple request, perhaps this little tale might grab their attention...

The other night, after the kids went to bed I went up to Walgreens to grab white out to sniff. Or, just to fix our Christmas cards - didn't proof read that well. And so, I was ready to get the cards out, and when you're motivated to do that, you just do it. So, I grab the white out, and then think to check on some tooth brushes for holiday festivities.

I noticed a loud guy - like a teenager. I could hear him and his girlfriend in another aisle. They were loud and being a little crazy. Then I walked by and noticed the guy was on crutches, and had only one leg. For missing a leg, the guy had a lot of energy and was being crazy and loud. I thought they were in a fight for a while, but they were just running through the aisles and being silly.

So, I round a corner, and for a guy with one leg, he is fast, because he was on the other side of the corner, "running" and almost ran into me. But he twirled around toward his girlfriend and never really saw me but just said, "Sorry Sir."

I didn't think much about it and kept on my path to tooth brushes and then I heard,
"What? Oh great...no, sorry, I need to apologize, I don't want her to think..."
And then he was right in front of me. Really, for a guy with one leg, he just appeared...abruptly.

"Ma'am, I am so sorry I called you a dude." Super, because now you just called me ma'am.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." Good point "I was rushing by, and I didn't look up, and I just saw that you were taller than me, and I assumed you were a man. I'm very sorry."

Well I assumed you were 15, but it looks like you're upper 20s, so now we're even.

"No worries. I'm wearing my dad's jacket anyways." And I did look frumpy, I had my fuzzy snow boots on and jeans and my dad's jacket. And yes, I still have my dad's jackets. They are good jackets. Leave me alone.

So, then he says, "I'd just stick my foot right in my mouth, but if I did, I'd be flat on my ass."

"Good Point." Seriously, you can go now.

And then he says, "I swear, you don't look ANYTHING like a woman...OH SHIT!"

I laughed and just said, "No worries, and really, you should stop talking now."

He did, and they ran off to some further aisle and continued with their antics, because I could hear them. I found the toothbrushes and made my way to the cash register, and then I heard their loudness again, then the manager talk to them, a little bit of argument, and then silence. It was bliss.

I've been thinking lately that I need a makeover intervention. I'm glad that's all I need. Because as much as I feel like I look frumpy, I'm feeling pretty good about my Walgreens composure and etiquette.

That's how I roll.