Kids - 1 Girlfriends - 0

I'm a well-rested person. I'm a pampered mom. One of the first things I was told when we had the babies was to make sure I take time out for me. And I sure have. For seven years. I see all these ladies on talk shows who never take time out for themselves. And I'm not that woman. I am the only woman on this earth, I think, who has to weed out her girlfriend trips. Who has to cut back on the pampering. Really, I can think of worse issues for a mom of twins to have. Right?

Then I got an invite for a girls trip. And it was just an eensy one, an overnighter in Kansas City with some of the coolest chicks I know. I don't really need a good night's sleep, I get that every night. I don't really care to shop. And I don't even drink, so I'll just be the designated driver. But this rockstar was excited about just chillin and laughing with some new friends of mine. That, and one of the power shoppers lulled me in for my shopping weak spot - The Holiday Mart. I don't even know what that means, but I could use some new gigantic Christmas yard decorations. And she assured me they'd have such beasts. So, sign me up! Wheeeeehaaaaawww!

The stars aligned, and if we did it just right, I could go. I was in. I'll pay my portion of the hotel and gas. Bring it on!

And then we went to Max's football game. Max's team isn't doing that well. And by not that well, I mean they haven't won a game all season, and haven't scored all season. Well, I take that back, last week they got a safety. I'm not even kidding, y'all. So, it was the last game of the season, and the coach wanted to talk to the kids and the parents all together. I figured its for that end-of-the-season party. Because where we go eat is a better priority,right?

We're all huddled up, kids and parents and the coach says, (Read like Eeyore) "I know it's been a tough season, and I've just been told that they've worked all 20 teams into the championship playoffs. So, I guess we play next week. I don't know if that's a good thing or if it's prolonging the agony. I know you didn't plan on playing next week, so, if you can't make it, I understand. I guess we'll see you next week maybe."

And here's your trophy coach, for the absolute shittiest most unbearable pep talk I've ever heard. And I've heard some pretty interesting ones. All my vball girls remember the PDB talk? You know who you are.

My kid is in second grade. We are trying so hard not to get wrapped up in the hard core sports crazies here. And I'm trying really hard not to judge others so harshly. It's just not easy as it sounds when the people I'm trying to judge are such idiots. Really? Prolonging the agony? Still, I had a nice long talk with myself and promised I wouldn't crack down on this guy. I was a coach once, I'll just try to ignore that whole talk he gave.

And then we got to the car, and Max asked me, "Mom, what does 'prolonging the agony mean'"? And that's when I regressed and said really nasty words about the coach in my head while I tried to find a way to explain, or maybe distract. "Hey Max, let's go get a new DS game!"

So, here's the conundrum - the girls weekend or the football game? We're not even sure that enough kids will show to make a team to play thanks to that compelling speech what with all the, "yeah, if you can make it to the tournament, that's cool, but if not, that's cool too..." Nice. So, Ricardo and I talk and he's cool with me going to the girls trip. The next morning, I tell Max I'm not going to make it to his game. He tells me with his words that's okay. But his eyes say all in one sad dropped facial expression "we're so bad you don't want to go to my game because my effn coach doesn't believe in me, why should you mom? Really."

Sometimes I see things I refer to as the Ally McBeal moments. Except this time, instead of a dancing baby, I see "JACKASS" stamped across my forehead in real big red perfectly fonted letters.

I took the kids to school. Thought on it some more and just couldn't take it. I hate bailing on these ladies, because I've done it before. And this was a super special invite, they were including me in their circle of cool chicks. Still, I couldn't shake off that "it's okay mom, I understand" look. So, I called my gal and bailed. And she was more than kind and generous about it.

I picked the kids up from school and as soon as I got stuck in all that fantastic parking lot traffic, I turned around, look Max square in the eye and said, "Max, I changed my plans, I'm going to your game on Sunday."

And that little perfect kid of mine, his face lit up, a huge smile that he couldn't even hide if he'd tried just illuminated the car. But all he said was, "Really!?"

"Yeah, really." I tried to play it really cool. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Well there's that Ally McBeal dancing baby!

So, this Sunday, and there won't be enough players, (thanks again to the compelling "prolonging the agony" speech) to play the game. Max will probably miss out on his game. I'll miss out on my girls weekend. And it'll be the best weekend ever. Because I'm well rested, I bailed on my girlfriends and picked my kid instead.

OMG, y'all, I think I might be growing up.
That's how I roll.