The Birthday hangover for Survival Year #7

I'm still trying to perfect birthday celebratoriness for the kids as mentioned here, here, and here. We started out having a massive party and merging family and day care/preschool/school friends. But they have the same bday and when they each get to invite pals - and momma invites all of her friends - 20 kids at a bday party is insane and starts scaring off the adults.

So then - last year we did the "let's just have a party at a place". No bbq. It was a great party but I guess I missed the insanity of hosting at home and so this year I insisted we have a smaller bbq- insisting that it's so not a party- and we opted to let the kids choose what they want to do for their bday. Ultimately your kids bday is a bigger celebration for you than them. And I like having a celebration at home. I missed that.

So, for this year, we decided to allow the kids to pick what they wanted to do, and let them have a separate this is my own birthday celebration type of a deal, and then have the bbq. They chose to each invite a friend from school over for a sleepover. Why not "let's do what you want AND what I want"?! Why? Because a slumber party followed by a bbq equals no sleep for the kids. And sleep and food are the end all and be all of a smooth running machine at my house.

The morning of their birthday was like Christmas, they got up early -6a.m. to open presents. That's early for us because I just trained these suckers to sleep in to a respectable 7:30a.m. They went to school and then had their friends come over. Max and his pal went to a game place with go-karts and amazing pizza if you know what I mean. I took Lucy and her friend to a kids salon where they got little manis, pedis, a chocolate face masque and a hair updo with glitter, y'all.

Then the kids stayed up too late at their sleepover, we knew they'd need some downtime the next day to rest up. But they were both so tired, we demanded a nap. Max was crying over everything. INCLUDING crying over whether he was tired or not. Really? So, I sent them upstairs to take a nap. A full on nap. They asked how long did they have to stay in their rooms, and I just told them after they slept. Not laid there, read a book. None of theat. A nap. Go up to your room. Lay down. Close your eyes. Keep them closed until you fall asleep. An hour after they went to sleep, Max came out crying with something like this,
"I can't sleep and I'm not tired, Mom. I'm just not. I'm just not tired. Whaaaahaaaa."

Oh God. This is going to be bad. So, I asked his favorite person in all the land, Ricardo, to take a nap with him. The look on Ricardo's face when I ASKED him to stop cleaning and getting the house ready for the party and go take a nap was priceless.

But we all know how tough it is to catch up on sleep. So, after the bbq, we sent the kids to bed at their school bedtime. They both took their DS games with them. I probably shouldn't have allowed that, because at 10p.m. - wayyyyy after their bedtime - I was going to get ready for bed myself, and Max met me at the top of the stairs. I thought to yell at him, after all, the birthdayness was over, and he needs to know I'm mean business. But He had his DS in his hand, his face was red and tears were welling up in his giant blue eyes. So, in my really sweet and compassionate voice, I said,

"Max, what's wrong?"

"I don't want my ds anymore."

"WTF?" I thought - I didn't say it. Geesh.

"This game is too hard, and I can't do it. I JUST CAN'T DO IT! And I keep trying to go to the next level and they tell me I'm a FAILURE! A FAILURE! And that's not nice! That is just so mean to tell someone they are a FAILURE! That's not a fun game at all!"

Poor guy. I removed his grip from the DS, took it away, laid it on the floor in the hallway and walked him back to his room. I got him in bed and reassured him that indeed, that was not nice at all to call him a failure. And he doesn't have to play that game if he doesn't want to.

So, I think I've almost got this perfected. I will need to either separate weekends for their celebrations and mine. Or, strategically plan the bbq before the sleepover so that if the kids are worn out, it might suggest those suckers pass out and go to sleep at their sleepover. Clearly I'm a slow learner, it's taken me seven years to figure this all out.

These kids are so fantastic and I am so proud of them and the mom they've made me into. Their birthday really is a celebration for me!

That's how I roll.