Burning calories in the Ice Cream Capital of the WORLD, y'all.

Yeah, that's right, we're triathletes, and supermoms. Where's our effn ice cream!?

Somewhere in LeMars, Iowa is my swim cap. Although JulzHOLLA! prefers to call it a swim hat. I would go one step further and say it's a condom for your head, but whatever. I'd just gotten used to wearing one, and then I don't know if when you start getting nervous, your head swells or what. But it kept kinda shrinking up and sliding off my head, and there's 2 people to go before I get in the water. So, I did what every super duper athlete does - I totally bailed. On the swim hat. (We really like to call it a hat.) And I went all crazy with just my hair in a pony tail. I gotta tell you, I think I like it better. I think it's gonna be my signature move for future triathlons. Oh god, did she just say FUTURE TRIATHLONS? Oh yes she just did.

I was worried that I was going to smoke all these people and have to pass them in the pool. Because we did things a little bass-ackwards and signed up for the tri before we ever got in the pool to practice. When you sign up for the tri, they place you in your take off time based on what your estimated swim time will be. We guessed 10 minutes. But after practicing and timing ourselves, we're really swimming it in about 6 minutes. So, the rule at this tri was to grab the ankle of the person you're about to pass and then they have to stop swimming and literally pull over. I didn't want to make anyone do that.

Another thing about tris is how you meet so many nice people all, for so many different reasons, there to challenge themselves. This one girl was an avid cyclist, does adventure bike races. And she's petrified of the water, learned how to swim a few months ago. She went right before JulzHOLLA! and I. So, I was nervous that here I was going to have to pass this girl, stop her in the middle of her panic attack - woops, I mean swim, and regress her ass back into therapy right there in front of everyone in the middle of the pool. But I did it anyways. I lagged behind just a bit and when we got to the wall, I tapped her foot, and she let me push off first. She looked a little pieved, but I chalked it up to the fact that we were both huffing, and went on.

I jumped out of the pool and ran with a towel around me to the bikes. Because my tri-pants aren't in yet, and there's laws against that much pasty white dimples with a blinding glare.

The bike - how do I say this with just the right words? - Ah, yes, The bike HATES me. I cannot emphasize that enough. It was a 7.5 mile ride out, and then loop and back. It was described as a ride on "rolling hills" on farm roads. I'd describe it as "uphill both ways". But whatever. I just couldn't get the bike going. I was told to do your bike ride as easy as you can so you can save your legs for the run, but I had to just kick it in and let my thighs burn for well over an hour. Why wasn't this bike moving faster? That was mile 4. And then I looked up and that girl I passed in the pool was already coming back. What the hell? She was out and back in the time it took me to just get started. Everyone else passed me on the bike. EVERYONE. I knew it was my weakness, the bike, but it'd just upgraded to complete humility. I was afraid when I got off the bike I wouldn't be able to stand, let alone, transition or even run.

Finally, I got back. My knees locked and I had to walk in the bike. Which was fine,because there were my kids and Ricardo cheering me on. So, I took the time to just listen to them cheer me on. It makes all the difference to hear them at each transition, because I felt so so so lonely on that ride. I hope they know how much that encouragement helps. The triathlon took me almost two hours to complete. My transition times added up to roughly 3 minutes of that. It's all I needed to keep me going. I felt so defeated from that ride, and then so uplifted when I heard them.

I got off the bike and took off running. Well, I think I was running. I tried to just put one foot in front of the other. Somewhere in there, I caught up to JulzHOLLA!, we grabbed some water, talked about our feelings and I took off to run again. It was our plan when we were training: She'd pass me on the bike, I'd oblige on the run. We just have different paces, which brings us to the finish line at pretty close to the same time!

I feel like a big woop ass because I told the kids they couldn't run along side me. They could run on the sidewalk next to the street I was on, but not with me. I don't really know why, but I was worried I'd be breaking some rule, like Mother of the Year or something if I let them run with me - and I can't let that happen. Then JulzHOLLA! came around and I have the cutest effn scrapbookable (if only she scrapbooked) pictures of her running in while holding their hands. She had no doubt she'd let them do that. It was so sweet. I'm such an ass.

So, we both accomplished what we set our goal for: FINISH UPRIGHT (not on a stretcher) and we did it!

Ricardo was a champ and didn't hand me the kids as I crossed the finish line. He hugged me, got me to the ice cream for me - you betcha there was ice cream at the finish line! With one hand, I hold my ice cream. With the other, I hold myself up. I'm just sayin.

And then he went back and got all my transition stuff, knowing I couldn't bend over. Well, I could bend over, but probably just not get back up. Max stepped in and took my bike for me. We headed straight for the food and awards ceremony. And Ricardo made sure the kids were all taken care of while I ate the hell out of a burger.

Just one last thing - a much needed shower. So, Ricardo and Sven took the kids to eat lunch while JulzHOLLA! and I went back to the hotel to shower. Ricardo just asked that we not shower together. I simply explained I would pack up the hotel stuff while JulzHOLLA showered and we were now racing to get to BLUE BUNNY, so no worries, our priorities were in order. Once we got done and met back up with the crew, I thanked Ricardo for making it all possible to do this tri, and all the stuff that goes with it and then I announced that I now have my mommy pants back on. And I will re-commence supermommyness by serving up ice cream.

The kids didn't give a flip because we were at the ice cream place. I like their style.

We got home from our trip, and within hours, I could not feel my legs. And then I signed up for another sprint triathlon in three weeks in hopes that committing to another one would justify more accessories!

That's how I roll.