U-Day

As you read this, I'm high as a kite on the serious narcotics. Some people have drug dealers, other people huff. I have an anesthiologist, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

I've explained to my doctor that this is replacement of a trip to Mexico, so she better make it good. So, she said I'll probably need to stay TWO nights instead of one. I love that woman.

I'm going in for the PROCEDURE. I like to say it just like that, real slow and loud: PRO SEE JUR! Or gesture at my abdomen area and then use quote fingers and say, "I'm having a little work done."

I've actually told some passers-by,(the mailman, a couple of neighbors, everyone at the gym, all of facebook, and a priest) that I'm having work done just to see the look of disappointment when they see me out again and realize that indeed, it was not a boob job, they are eye level and gawking, and there's nothing there. I'm looking for that. About the time they start to squint, I'll explain. Effing friends should keep up with the blog, right?

The other day I went to the hospital to do my pre-op registration stuff. It's at a different hospital than my other PROCEDURE that sparked this whole new adventure. As I'm driving out, I notice, the hospital is surrounded by a cemetery. Should I be worried? I'm guessing not, because as I rounded a corner, I notice it's the Arch Diocese Cemetery. Translation for the protestants: A cemetery for the really good Catholics. So, certainly I don't qualify, it's all safe.

I just told Ricardo, "If I die, Max has library books due next week."

Still, I'll say a Hail Mary. Please do the same, or say your own shout out for me and my family.

That's how I roll.