Max's Kindergarten teacher got engaged. While I was volunteering, she came up and showed me her ring. And although she just wanted to tell me and show me her ring. Since her ring is bigger than mind, I obliterated her with unsolicited, but still brilliant wedding advice.
"Aw - you got engaged and you want me to be a bridesmaid!?"
No?
"Oh, the kids - yes, I still have their ring bearer and flower girl dress. But they won't fit in them long. When is the wedding?"
Oh, you don't want them in your wedding? You're sticking to your own family? Well, that blows. But congrats and all.
I then proceeded to explain wedding theory one: The shorter time you have to plan a wedding, the less you will spend.
Theory two caught her off guard, but is well-lived and well-proven.
"Hunny, when you're up late laying next to your husband - you're breastfeeding on one boob while the other is leaking. It's just really not going to matter whether you got the Italian wedding cake or the chocolate cake with raspberry filling for your wedding cake."
Awkward pause from newly engaged and childless aquaintance while she tries to figure out exactly what "leaking from a boob" means.
"Well," she says, "I never really thought of it that way."
They never do. That's what I'm here for.
You are welcome.
When I go to a wedding, I go for two reasons. First, it's fun to be reminded of our wedding and that we're actually still sticking to the promises we made to each other. (And I looked FANTASTIC). And second, I go for the cake. I'm not judging your selection of cake at your wedding, I just want some cake. Preferrably a corner piece with extra icing.
That's how I roll.
Seriously, that poor woman! Hopefully she doesn't share the leaky boob story wtih her husband because that is enough to scare someone right out of marriage! If she had Max in class for an entire year, then I assume she knows you well and probably laughed her ass off once she got over the shock of it all!