When it rains wholesome goodness at the zoo, it pours. So, after our fantastic behind-the-scenes-tour at the zoo, the very next weekend, the kids and I went to a campout at the zoo.
I just assumed we'd rough it on the floor with our sleeping bags at the aquarium. I'm a genius for setting up this "camp out" and and checking that off the adventures of a kid to-do list before summer even rolls around all while sneaking in indoor plumbing. There's other places at the zoo to campout - the Desert Dome and the Jungle, both with dirt floors. There's a reason I went with the aquarium - all the animals are behind glass, and it's got a carpeted floor. And it also fell on the same weekend as Ricardo's ManWeekend, so it'd be something for the kids (and me) to be distracted with while daddy is gone.
But then one of my teammates at the gym told me her mom took her kids to this campout gig. And to not even bother taking snacks because they don't allow them at the zoo due to cockroaches. As a cockroach veteran, growing up near Houston, believe me when I say, should I see one more cockroach ever in all of my life, it'll be a little bit too soon. I even went as far as to take out all the gum and cough drops out of my purse for this slumber in the slums. GAWD, what have I done? I ran straight to get air mattresses to elevate my body 6" off the bug infested ground. Give them something to work for if they're going to crawl up to me and my kids. I'll protect you kids! Sort of.
FYI pal at the gym who's mom took her kids to the campout - my kids sat and watched all 63 other campers snack on popcorn, juice boxes, chips, candy, cake and cupcakes as well as several other roach attracters. It turns out, the roaches (and bats) are located and come out for play in the Jungle, not so much in the aquarium. Well, that's where they make their reputation known, at least. "And tell Leslie, we'll see her at the pygmy hippopatumus exhibit - at the strike of midnight." <<< Read in mobster cockroach tone.
So, now I'm going into this knowing there's not a 16 foot snake in the basement - oh no, I stand corrected - he's grown to 21 feet, 202 pounds. And there's actually not a cockroach problem in the aquarium per se, but no the doubt has been set, there's probably a few running around - what with all those snackers I just saw. Still bucking up for the sake of my kids.
We got checked in and went on our night hike through the zoo. Really, it's so fun to cruise through the zoo with a tour guide, learning all kinds of facts and stories, and we actually went through the jungle at night. With 7 exhillerated kids, the tour guide had the nerve to explain that the fruit bats are very active at night. What? No, wait, there's bats in the Desert Dome, not in the Jungle.
"Well, not exactly. We have fruit bats that live freely in the jungle, they only really come out at night." She turns to the kids who've just ingested rootbeer floats and with a much more educational lecture than I can remember "Now, the fruitbats' sonars get thrown off by loud noises (Like seven 6-10 year-olds high on sugar at 9p.m. kind of loud noises?) so we have to be quiet. But they fly high, so really, all that should be a problem are the tall people...." She looks right at me, assesses what I already have, that I'm the tallest person in the group, and gives up the lecture and heads into the jungle. I walked through the entire tour, hunched over, in the dark awaiting the crunch of roaches under my shoes and protecting my precious head from the bats. Kids, isn't this fun!?
By the time we got back to the aquarium, played some games, ran through the aquarium hanging out with the penguins and the sharks and sting rays, it was 11p.m. until we finally got to our designated sleeping area. I chose (and convinced the kids it was best) a spot in front of these cool moon jellyfish. When JulzHolla! and I take the kids to the zoo, we find our zen at the moon jellyfish. They glow and float and someone's turned on some relaxing new age music to soothe all mothers chasing their kids through the aquarium. God bless the zoo music therapy department.
The kids were a bit pissed off that I had the audacity suggest such atrocities as "Lay down and watch the pretty jelly fish float and drift off to sleep." But my kids function on two strict schedules: sleep and food. The last time one of them stayed up til 11p.m. was never. As they settle down, I have time to reflect on the rage of sleep deprivation of a 6-year-old I'm about to enjoy...times two.
Just as soon as I close my eyes, I am awakened by the fruit-bats-will-probably-hit-your-head tour guide. I wake up the kids happy that I never even had time to worry or assess a plan if Monty - the 21 foot aggressive eating python down in the basement - gets one of my kids for lunch.
We got up for our 6a.m. morning hike. And if you've been around me at 6a.m., you know that I'm a perky and annoying. It's the perfect personality for a morning hike with my kids. It got us through the zoo, happy to greet the lions and tigers and bears. Oh My! By 9a.m. we were headed home, ready to see daddy at home. (Translation - hand off kids, shower, and sneak in a nap.)
I'm pretty sure I've ruined my children. Now, they think sleeping at the zoo is the norm. We're already talking about our next trip. If you have the opportunity to do this, it's so cool. Use your kids as an excuse to camp out at the zoo. That's why I had kids, so I could do all this cool kid stuff.
That's how I roll.
