Have you met my new boyfriend?

Yeah, I've got a thing for this guy.

There's a few guys out there that I have crushes on, I suppose. It's not really the "list". You know the list - the one you have with your spouse as some kind of deal that should you stumble upon anyone on your list, and should the magic happen, it's totally okay. Number one, I'm not going to stumble on any of these guys unless I get my dream job of co-hosting with Ellen Degeneres. And number two, should I stumble upon these people, I would be a blubbering idiot (moreso than my average blubbering). So, number three, should any of these people on my list be attracted to said blubber, I would laugh hysterically. If someone EVERY came on to me or was attracted to me, I would so not know it.

And also, let it be known that my Ricardo is better looking than any of these dudes. I'm attracted to tall guys and to humor. My man is taller than any celebrity (other than Shaq) and funnier than any of them as well. There is nothing sexier than a man that will make you laugh outloud hysterically....every day. Although a man with a mop is a close second to laughter when it comes to sexy.

Still, I have a list. It seems to be getting longer now that I think of it. I think I will put it in order of priority of my freakness should one of these peeps show up on my doorstep:

Jeffrey Dean Morgan (6'2")

Vince Vaughan (6'4") - I'm a little upset he just got engaged, but he's still on the list. I suppose he couldn't wait for me forever.

Michael Phelps (6'4") - every interview I see of this guy, makes me love him more. There was NO SMOKE IN THE BONG, and he's taking full responsibility without saying, "I didn't smoke it." He just told Matt Lauer this morning when asked directly, did you smoke pot with - "It was a really stupid mistake."

Aaron Pearsol (6'4") - poor guy was upstaged by Phelpsy, but still, I saw your abs, hunny.

LL Cool J (6' 1 /2") - I mean, c'mon, the ladies love him, yo.

Dwayne The ROCK Johnson (6'3") - If you haven't seen his SNL skit - The ROCK Obama, you need to.

I also stop walking through the house picking up toys and/or laundry, even when Candice Olson (6') is on the tv designing something. I realize this is a woman, but have you seen what that woman can do to a basement? Seriously!

Ricardo doesn't have a list. I'm pretty sure his pre-reqs involve a nice rack. He clarified it that he's not THAT shallow - A nice lookin set of boobs needs to have a good face. She cant' have nice bazoombas and then an ugly face. Good point. I'm so proud he has such high standards. And really, I have boob envy. So, typically, he sees a nice set of boobs, I'm gonna check them out too. It's nice to know what they look like...so atleast we have that in common.

I have to fess up. I have a stellar crush on this guy - Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
The press junkets are working for me. He's been on all the talk shows for his new movie. Yesterday, he had his dog on The Bonnie Hunt Show. He saved the dog as a puppy and bottle fed the dog for a month. And he's had the dog for 12 years. What is your address, sir? I need to uh, "stumble" upon you. I will go see WATCHMEN just because this guy is in it. I liked him when he was Denny on Grey's Anatomy.

But I really really really liked this guy when I found him in the rolling hills of Ireland in a little film called P.S. I Love You. I mean, he was good and romantic as Denny, throw that character into P.S. - an irish guy in a band, in a cottage in the rolling hills of Ireland. MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm. There was some nice story line and amazing music in this movie, but all I could see was Jeffrey Dean Morgan gazing at me through the screen while I slurped down my Diet Coke and binged on my heavily buttered popcorn.

So, I have to explain to Ricardo, come up with something really creative as to why my sudden interest in comic book movies. But JDM's character looks too good to pass up - the Comedian. It's as if someone wrote it just for me and him. Sigh. I'll be sure to get more buttered popcorn to disguise my vocal approval of this man on screen. "MMMMM, this uh, popcorn is sooooo good!"

It must really confuse our kids at how non-jealous and actually SUPPORTIVE we are with each others' crushes. Ricardo will help me out and shout to me, "Hey, your boyfriend's on tv."

Of which I will respond, "Oh yeah? Which one?"

Who's on your list?

That's how I roll.