It's only fair to count and note the good days with the bad. Even though, the bad days as a mom, are a much better read.
Last week, I went grocery shopping. Big grocery shopping. I drop the kids off at school, head to the regular grocery store with my regular list, and then go to Sam's Club with my Sam's Club list. They are evenly distributed. It used to be that I just bought dog food, laundry detergent and diapers at Sam's. Now, I find I'm buying more and more regular grocery staples like coffee, fruit, meats. These kids eat a lot. Maybe if I stopped feeding them in bulk, they'd stop growing in bulk, hmmmm.
And sometimes, when I'm done at Sam's Club, sometimes, I go to another grocery store for particular specialty items that weren't at the grocery store nor Sam's. After all of that, I go home, usually just in time to get the groceries put up so that Farley the Wonderdog can't reach them and go pick up the kids back up from school. It takes all day and I'm thankful and almost embarassed at the volume of sheer luxuries of all the groceries in the full pantry and full refrigerator.
The other day, though, I opted to take my Ipod and up the ante from grocery shopping to with the ever-present sounds of a constant child screaming a the grocery store to drowning it out with my groove. Bring it on groceries. On top of all that, I'm saving the earth with my reusable backs. I'm rocking out grocery day like nobody's business!
I'm at Sam's Club doing power squats with the gigantore bag of dog food while rockin to Lil Wayne. Life is good. I'm fairly certain I got my shopping done faster, didn't forget one item on either list, and was happier for it all because of my tunes blaring in my ears.
I get all checked out, everyone is happy. And I get out to my car and see it's leaning. I have a flat. And I'm talking a flat flat, no air. Nada in my left front tire.
I call Ricardo while I load the groceries in the car to assess my plan of action. I was just going to drive it 20 feet to the Sam's Auto area. But Ricardo reminds me that we actually bought our tires at Sam's. Just go back in, tell them I have a flat, and we have some roadside assistance warranty. Say what? It's as if the grocery shopping fairies have planned my day in perfect alignment.
I go back into Sam's tell the guy. I'm so excited that I got a flat at the exact spot we purchased the tires. This is fantastic! What a great day! The guy really doesn't care. Not only that, but Sam's has the cheapest lunch ever, and it's lunch time. I can just go eat lunch while I wait on the car. What? Wait. I never have cash, and I don't want to write a check for the $1.50 combo. Let me check my change because my purse does seem to be heavier today. Fantastic! I have $1.87! Woohoo!
I go eat. And just to help share the gift of a good day, I sit at a table next to this construction guy on his lunch break. I put my lipstick on and eat my hot dog real sultry like. Because eating a hot dog is very, very sexy. He blushes, or laughs or whatever. I get up, goget my car.
"Do you have the Chrysler Town & Country?"
"Yes. Yes I do! You jealous?"
"Uh, no ma'am. It's ready for you. Everything was covered, just need you to sign here."
He could have gone along with it. But I'm guessing not everyone is so happy to have a flat like I am. I sign it and hop into my car and go home.
A lot can go wrong on grocery day. Hell, I've thrown my back out a couple of times. You gotta get up early, stretch, apparently check the oil and tires. So, to me, it was such a treat that when poop hit the fan, I remember, my shit smells like roses. Yay!
That's how I roll.
