We tell the truth around here. Sort of. It all started when people in our families started dying and we had to attend a lot of funerals when the kids were 2 and 3-years old. What do we tell them? We tell them the truth. We keep it simple. Answer any questions as honestly as we know how. Sometimes we have to go back and re-tell the truth. Like the time when one of the kids asked where the treasure box at the pulpit was? Wait for it....death, funerals, treasure box (coffin). We set them straight, don't worry.
So, when the kids wanted to go see Marley & Me with us and we told them no. We told them it's PG-13 and they are 6, and Marley eventually dies, and it's very sad and we're not wasting the $6 a piece for that emotional disturbance for them. We just prefer to waste the $9 a piece on ourselves for the same said emotional rollercoaster. Something like that. They were good with our answer and went to a more appropriate movie with Gramma and Bean-Bean. We were shocked to find 4 and 5 year olds in the theater - and they reacted just as I'd suspected. We'll deal with the just the death of Farley the Wonder Dog. That's all I can handle.
So today, I took the kids to their school book fair. First of all, I'm a sucker for books. If the kids ask if they can get a book, what the hell am I supposed to say,
"No way kid. Reading is soooo overrated." or "Why can't you just re-read your board books that you gnawed on back when you were teething?"
They ask, and we go. I think they enjoyed walking around and looking at all the new, crisp, fresh books more than picking one out. All organized, and perty. It's like vacation or something. I just let them walk and enjoy it and giggled at their excitement, "Look mom! A HOTEL FOR DOGS BOOK!"
"Great, you want to get it?"
"Nah, just wanted to show you."
"Mom, LOOK! WORLD RECORDS!!!"
"Awesome, Lucy! Do you want to get it?"
"Nah." And she put it back on the shelf and scurried on to another
Then Max, my usually quieter kid, very exhuberant and very loudly said,
"MOM LOOK, MARLEY AND ME BOOK!" Slight pause, thinking it through to see if he wanted it and then, "BUT I'M NOT GOING TO GET IT BECAUSE HE DIES AT THE END."
I nodded and then panicked at the sudden silence upon Max's announcement. I looked around to see if I needed to do any damage control with other kids. There was one kid, a little bigger than Max, puzzled, dismayed. But then he found a SpiderMan comic book and forgot that his dreams of Marley the Dog had been shattered. No one kicked me out or cast any judging glares as if to say, "YOU TOLD EVERYONE HE DIES!?"
I was prepared to soothe some kid with, "Hey, all dogs go to heaven!" But I didn't need to. There was just a long pause among the crowd, and then back to shopping. Thank God for A.D.D.-appropriate aged kids.
Max settled on 101 Things You Didn't Know About Animals. So, I've been getting a lot of this: "Did you know that Bald Eagles are not actually bald?"
"Max, please go brush your teeth."
"Or that Polar Bears have black skin? Or that a Boa Constrictor can eat a Deer? Or that..."
Ahhh, Reading, it's a whole new world to these kids. Watching them discover that is so fun. Even if they ruin the end for others.
That's how I roll.
