MOM - FO LIFE

Me and my Momz - Mommy Thuggin Fo LIFE

I think 2Pac said it best when he said "Thug - Fo Life". Except, I like to think that being a mommy is it's own gang. Mommy-Thuggin if you know what I mean.

This week, my friend was devastated by an abrupt breakup and was truly heartbroken. And her mom made a 5-hour drive to come sleep with her daughter, cook for her, and get her ass out of bed and make her go to work. I thought, wow, what a nice mom! And then I tried to remember what my mom said or did for me when I got dumped. I got a little bitter, and then I realized, I never gave her the chance, I'm sure. I dont' think I gave anyone a chance, I tried to hide it for a few days. And once the large lump of dumpness and heartbreak that now seems trivial and stupid, but at the time was just devastating and so dramatic, once that lump allowed me to talk without wailing in pain and unending doubt of all human kindness, I'm sure I mentioned to my mom in passing in a phone conversation that indeed, me and dude were no longer. I'm fairly certain I put off a really cool (with cracking voice) tough girl front and simply said something like, "Well Mom, it turns out, he's an asshole." And that was that.

And then I met Ricardo. And I had the twins. And my mom swooped in and saved the day. That woman flew in on her broom, and took care of everything but the babies, including me. Out of exhaustion and shock, I never even noticed what she did for us...until she left. Suddenly there was weird stuff going on like, laundry piling up, and dishes in the sink, and no food delivered to me while I sat on my LaZboy throne and nursed babies.
Again, today, I thought of just a few months back, when Carrie was so sick, I called my mom, asked her to take the kids while I spent days and hours with my friend. "Hey Mom, I'm coming in to town to see my pal, not you. Can you watch the kids?" And she did it. No questions asked. Not once did I get a phone call in the middle of my visits with Carrie, "Honey, the kids are driving me mad. I know I'm supposed to love them and stuff, but really, why did you teach them to kickbox anyways?" She really saved the day and if any super hero in the world can buy some time, it's my mom. She gave me time with my friend to say goodbye.
When Carrie passed away, again, it was my mom who just made stuff happen. She stayed up, met my friends at the door, had beds made for each of us. Magically my dress was ironed, and she knew just when to give me my space at the funeral and when to grab my hand.
I can only hope my daughter lets me save the day a little better than I let my mom in the past. But I see now, as a mom, any chance you get to not necessarily fix it for your kids, but just ease the pain and help any other way, is an opportunity to express your love for your kids.
So, I'm proud of my friend's mom for coming in to just be with her daughter. I really think she saved her. My friend's heart will heal now. Not because her mom made everything better. But because now my friend knows how much she is loved, and really what true love is all about. But moreso, I'm proud of my friend, for knowing that sometimes, even when you don't know it, and no matter how old you are, you just need your mom.

That's how I roll.