There's something about Magda

Remember Magda from the movie There's Something About Mary? Yeah, I'd blocked her out of my mind too. Until yesterday when I saw her at the gym. Apparently, she's still making guest appearances, except instead of autographs, she's hanging out with the older boy toys in the weight room and on the track.

This woman was in her 60's - but perhaps I was fooled by her bleach blonde hair and wrinkled, flappy, but very tan skin - and she was more like 70 or 80. It's VERY possible. She was an exact duplication of Magda, except, Magda wore muumuus. This woman was wearing a tube top. I just looked it up, it's called a smocked tube top. Here's a visual:

Imagine that white. And see through. You would think the roushing would protect my eyes from any areola (yep, I said it) sightings. You're wrong because - well. She was wearing it as low as you possibly could. You know, ladies, like when you're using a "regular" sized towel instead of a giant towel sheet and so you wrap it around as low as you can so it covers your netherland region too. You know? Well, she had that going on, but she had pants on, so she didn't need to have the top start so low. So, the band goes across where the ladies are. But she's 80. So, her ladies droop. It happens. And it happened for Magda UNDER THE WIDE BAND, highlighting her booby presence at about the belly button. And people, it's thin tshirt material. Where her boobies are is a thinner and non-roushed material. Oh God. My eyes! My eyes!

When I came across Magda, I was running. I'd run about 10 yards, so I was sucking desperate oxygen. And I'd convinced myself maybe I should walk instead of run since I was starting to see red spots and this return of a character from a 90's movie. I had my ipod blaring, so I'm sure once I realized it was just the red spots I was seeing, and Magda really was there, not in my hallucinogenic-oxygen-lacking mind, I am certain I said loudly, "OH MY GOD." Just like Janice from Friends. I continued to jog and decided some buddies of mine HAD to confirm this sighting. So, I go over to them working out.

My eyes bulging out of my head and burning must have given it away cuz all I could get out was, "Have y'all seen...."

And awesome DesignDiva says, "The chick with the tube top almost to her belly button?"

"YES"

But her workout buddy hadn't seen it yet. I convinced her she needed to take a jog with me on the track. It goes around the gym, so we could find her that way. Kristi hates running, but was willing to do it for the sake of staring someone down. So, we took the scenic route and jogged around the track. We had a sighting. She was shocked. And she confirmed my suspicions with "Oh My God." And I said, "I KNOW!" When we got back around the track, she said, "That was so worth the run." And then she went off to work out.

We had a great conversation about whose responsibility it was to tell this woman to uh, stop blinding the public. I mean, is it MY responsibility to gaulk & talk about her, or should I say something? I'm way to caddy for that. I mean, if she were my grandma, I'd totally pull her to the side. So, really, it's the grandchildren's fault in this case. We decided it was an "equipment issue" and therefore, it's the trainers' responsibility to say something. Good luck with that, y'all. Our responsibility is solely to promise that we'll never let each other walk out fo the locker room like that. It's a pact we're willing to make to each other for the next 40 years. We're caddy gym pals like that.

That's how me and my gym posse roll. I'm taking a day off from the gym for my eyes to heal.