What do you do all day?

Ricardo and I were at the gym the other day. Some people go on dates. We check our kids in at the gym and go workout. We ran into some people we know. They are nice ladies, Julz(HOLLA!) and I have been pals with them for a while. And that's when I was posed a question that someone had the cahones to actually ask:

"What do you have to do all day, you're stay-at-home moms?"

Ahhh, yes, the age-old question. I don't recommend you ask nor suggest any type of question to a SAHM. (SAHM = Stay-At-Home-Mom, or Sexy and hot mom, whatever). It's like asking when a pregnant mom is due when she hasn't told you she's pregnant yet. Don't do that. Unless the child is coming out of her body, and his little hand is waving at you, never ask.

When she asked, I let it roll. And trust me, Pal, is a great gal. She was joking. But two days later, Ricardo brought it back to my attention. The fact that he remembered, took to my defense, that he acknowleged it, and was upset by it truly conveys to me that he gets me and understands me. And he knows a lot of all that nothing of what I do all day.

Let me take this moment to address that my "job" isn't really a job to me anymore. Primarily, because I don't get paid - except in the weight of dog poo and sticky syrup kisses. But it's not a job to me because I love it. It's fun. I'm really enjoying my kids. My kids are six years old now & I haven't changed a diaper or wiped a butt in a few years. I have it easy (now) because I had my kids at the same time. I'm brilliant like that. I paid my dues time two just in simultaneously potty training, but breastfeeding - puhleeease - that was the hardest 3 weeks of my life.

So, in answer to that question - I do what you do, because you're a mom too. But you're a working mom. Still, I do what you do. Take care of my kids and the house. I just have the privilege of doing it all day. That's what it is, it's a privilege - not a job, a privilege. It was a job. It was hard work. But now it's simply a privilege.

My friends, however, work their asses off, have singletons, get the kid all raised and off to kindergarten, and then go and have another kid. Then another. Then another. We call that "job security" in the SAHM circle when we're all gathered to watch Oprah and sip martinis. When you have kids at different ages and stages, it's a lot of work. A SAHM with 3 kids ages: 7, 3, and 1 - will change diapers AND potty train all day while shuttling to and from school and doing multiplication tables. That is work. Trust me. It's a job. And you do NOT want to know the details.

Well, we do what all moms do - working moms, single moms, SAHMs, we just do more of it. We're at home more, making more messes and then cleaning them up more. So, it's just at a higher frequency. I do more laundry, more cooking, then more cleaning, more shuttling the kids, more volunteering. Most days, it feels like I'm chasing my tail. Makes me dizzy. I like dizzy. I'm good at it.

Last night, Ricardo got a call at 3:30 in the morning. He's a programmer, so someone had an error or something. All I heard was things like,
"Well F7 it and run a query on the 51a2b. Then try to enter New Product and try to do Internal 760. Then F4. And that should work."

I have no idea what he does all day. I know that he's good at it.

So, ditto.

That's how I roll.