I have the olympic Gold for watching the olympics

I have been crazy for the Olympics this year. I love the Olympics. Not enough to have ever strived to be IN the Olympics. I don't have time for that training, it cuts into my watching it. And with our new sweet Hi-Def big ass tv, we are absolutely glued. Plus, more times than I can count something happens, when countries get together and compete, that you have to rewind to make sure, did that really just happen? Like, when the US men's 4x100 drops the baton, or Phelps winning by a fingernail, or the stupid interviewers, "You're such a disappointment and disgrace to the country for getting silver, how does that make you feel?" That's always fun to watch the athelete's maintain amazing composure.

I wish my Bobby Costas and Mark (woops, I meant Chris) Collingsworth could interview everyone. But no. I will say, it took me a while to figure out why I was enjoying the Today show more than usual. It's because Kathie Lee isn't on while they are in Beijing.

Soon, news reports were coming out that the US workers are tired from staying up so late to watch the Olympics. I must say, these Olympics have had an effect on my sleep, as well as my sex life. "Get off me, the games on, you fool!" or, "Baby, we just can't do this during the National Anthem. It ain't right." -has come out more than once. From EACH of us. Sometimes we just need that tender reminder of our marital priorities, I suppose. And the US Mens Swimming Relay team's abs contracted while yelling and cheering on their teammates - in hi-def takes priority. Then there's the slow-mo replay over and over and over again. Whew.

And don't get all high and mighty on me, because all of the USA women's sand volleyball games have mysteriously replaced Bindi The Jungle girl on our dvr list. Let's be honest, Bindi sticking her head in a Kimodo Dragon's mouth is way less impressive than Keri Walsh blocking and hitting in her itty bitty white bikini. I can respect that for Ricardo.
But, I'm currently drafting a letter to the IOC that the men's volleyball team's uniforms be tighter, or topless, for better efficiency and sportsmanship, ofcourse.

This Olympics has motivated me now more than ever. Not to get up and train for something, but to start training my kids. They are almost 6 years old, and in China, that's practically retirement for an athelete. It's time for a rigorous schedule. We will do it for the love of the sport, our country, and sweet endorsement. Perhaps theyll be the first twin mixed doubles team in tennis. Or maybe they'll be divers, swimmers, high jumpers, basketball or volleyball. Either way, we've been making them watch the olympics. Their interested, but it's actually been counterproductive, because they want to be gymnasts. I've tried to explain that they are too tall NOW, let alone in 8 years. But they don't get it.

So, we've scheduled their birthday at a gymnastics place - because this will be the last year they meet the height maximum. After that, I'd hate for them to show up and get kicked out. "We don't need your six foot 8-year olds here, ma'am." They'd say. So, I'm just protecting my kids is all.

I'll be sad to see the Olympics and all those beautiful skilled, sweaty bodies leave my screen. But clearly, it's for the best that this only happens every four years.

That's how I roll.