Careful what you wish for.

Never, in all my life, did I think I'd rely on this guy to bail me out. But it worked.

So, last posting, I said, I just loooooove to listen to what the kids say and the conversations they carry on in the car. Yesterday, my Mom called as we were buckling up from picking up the kids. We had a complete conversation as I pulled out of the school parking lot, because it takes that long. It take about 20 minutes to get out of the parking lot if you do it right, and don't hold angst with road rage....

So, I hang up the phone, and from the parking spot to the turn lane, apparently, the whole Book of Revelations has been discussed.

Me: "Okay Mom, bye. I love you." Click.

Max: "Mom, did you know that when the world comes to an end, if we don't go up with Jesus, we have to kill ourselves or the devil will put a 666 on our forehead?"

I am absolutely speechless. Finally: "Who told you that?"

Sweet neighbor buddy we take home from school: "Ryan told me."

What I wanted to say, "Well who the fuck is Ryan?" But what I said, "Who is Ryan?"

"He's in my class?"

"This kid who told you all this is 6 years old?"

"Yes."

At this point, I'm in a panic, because the kids are big into what Jesus does and says. Which up to this point, is great. But 'the end of the world' to a six year old is when their free helium-filled balloon from Chuck E Cheese pops. So, digesting that they think they'll need to off themselves when that happens, not great.

Also, my kids are in public schools for a REASON. And this is it. I mean, how did this conversation go down and an adult/teacher never once picked up on it? Seriously.

And we are Catholic. We have other issues to worry about. Hell-Fire-&-Damnation are for other people, we'll stick to whiskey and Hail Mary's, kids.

The kids won't stop talking about it. I'm begging God to make them stop talking about it, and they just keep on. So, finally, I get up enough nerve to say,

"You guys learn about Jesus at church. Not from a 6 year old at school. Because when one kid tells another kid, and then another kid, the story changes. And that's how rumors get started. And there should never be a rumor about Jesus. So, the next time Ryan or any other kid starts speaking in tongues...wooops, I mean, talking about Jesus, just run the other way. Okay?"

Fine. I didn't tell them to run the other way, but I did tell them to clarify with their parents first. And I told them that they wouldn't have to worry about what happens when Jesus comes because they are children.

All I could do was wish to be home sooner (in that 1/2 a mile drive) so I could get them home and numb their brains with SpongeBob. And I needed to shower after that one. Uggh.

That's how I roll.