I need some extra Ginkgo Biloba today.

It seems, I've lost my little ostrich-sized brain. I used to work at a Nutrition Store, selling vitamins and herbal supplements. I always got a good laugh at people who would come in and I swear, really said this:
"I need some more of a pill.....it's an herb....it's for my memory. It works really well, it's a funny named herb...can't really remember it off the top of my head..."

ME: "Ginkgo Biloba?"

Them: "Hmmm, I don't know. That doesn't sound right. I can't remember. It's really good for the memory and is supposed to keep your mind sharp."

Morons. I feel like that guy today.

We had a wonderful weekend, with Gramma and Bean-Bean coming in to watch the kids play their last YMCA game. I survived the season! Yay! Sven and Little O came to watch them play too. So nice. I was glad there would be witnesses to my frustration of this whole set up. Of which there must have been a memo that went out and said it was the last game and to be on your best behavior, because there was no proof as to my rage for Kindergarten YMCA basketball. It was all fun and games and good sportsmanship. Blah,blah, blah.Whatever.

While Ricardo and Bean-Bean were picking up a new engine for the Chevelle, Gramma and I took the kids to a home improvement show. It was like frikkin halloween. Toys and gadgets and magnets and lots and lots of candy for the kids. I mentioned we could call one of Gramma's nephews nearby, who'd just had a new baby, and then said, "Nah, they're coming over for dinner tomorrow night." And we went on our merry way.

Sunday night, we observed that the kids were due for early bedtime simply to make up for a crazy weekend. Our kids and our sanity thrive on good food and lots of sleep. So, we make a plan to feed them at 6p.m., bathe at 7p.m. and then almost straight to bed. Soon Lucy has convinced me that it's her turn to cook for the family, so, I throw my menu out and help her make us chili. It's good, we have fun. All is right with the world. I'm cleaning up dinner while Ricardo plays with the kids when he asks me, "Hey were you expecting someone to drop by?" I look out the window and see his cousin with the baby and wife coming to our door. We TOTALLY FORGOT we were having them over for dinner! This really isn't like me, because, A) I enjoy having this family over and the baby is so cute and sweet and I really look forward to seeing them any chance we get because all of our schedules are so crazy, it's really too few and far between. And B) I love to cook for people and wow them with my culinary SKILLZ. I have no skill, but typically the food is good. So that's fun. We apologize. They explain that actually they are pretty full from a late lunch. We play with sweet baby. We chat. Sweet baby starts crying, and they go. I feel like an ass, but am grateful for the visit. I'm fairly certain they stopped at Sonic on the way home. But they are just too nice to tell us.

The next day, I decide to hunker down and get JulzHolla! her birthday present. She's been yappin about a purple Ipod Shuffle for a while and so Lady Cake Maker - Nikkiand I decide it's time to help our girl out and get her the shuffle. Now, some of you may know already, but they are coming out with a new shuffle. I've been to WalMart and Target, looking high and low, but the 1 gigs went on sale and cleared out, so the 2 gigs could hit the shelves. Problem is, the 2 gigs aren't on the shelves yet, making Mission: Purple Ipod Shuffle fairly difficult. Finally I remember the Apple Store, and call. They have plenty of the 2 gigs, and I go. I get it. Those ipod people are so techy. Some guy scanned my visa on a handheld and said he'd email me my receipt. I sure hope he worked there....

I get the Purple Shuffle, text Sven and tell him what we got JulzHolla! So he doesn't duplicate it and explain that he'd have to go with diamonds or something. We're all set! Yay! I get home, and JulzHolla! has just IM'd me that "Guess what! My mom and dad just sent me a purple shuffle for my birthday! Isn't that great! I've already registered it and loaded it up and can't wait to go to the gym." Super. "Hold on Julz. No....can't talk...i'm on the phone with your mother, cussing her out." Note to self, check with MOTHER too for next gift! AAACK! Sigh. Still, I'm glad she got the purple shuffle because you KNOW those purple people are freaks about their color. You know they are. If you deny it, it's because you're a purple person. I resolve there's other fabulous ways to spoil my online girlfriend on her birthday and get over myself.

That night, Monday, yesterday, I'm reading my book in the bathtub. We have a modest home, and I have to fess up to the logistics of my modest home now. The toilet is next to the bathtub. So, I fill the tub up with bubbles, set a towel over the seat of the toilet, book on towel on toilet, get in tub and then shut the curtain so i don't have to stare at the toilet. Except, this time, I didn't have my towel on the toilet. The book is good, and I've been reading in the tub for well over an hour. Long enough for the hot water to start cooling to body temperature. I had to force myself to stop reading and mark my place so I could get out of the tub. I go to toss the book on the toilet lid. But it's not closed. And I toss the book INTO the toilet. Now I have to fish the book out and shower now because I've just stuck my hand into a toilet. And mind you, it's a borrowed book. Sigh.

This morning I resolve will be much better. Much more efficient. Like a well-oiled machine, if you will. So, Lucy comes in to the bathroom and needs to wash her hands, I already have the water on from brushing my teeth and washing my face. I don't like cold water, so I have it on warm with a little hot and cold on. The cold water tends to turn off and keep turning, then turning back on a bit. So, I'm waiting for Lucy to finish washing her hands so I can turn off the tricky faucet myself so it doesn't drizzle all day. I go to turn off the water, and turn the cold off first. Not smart. She pulls her hands out, and I've stung my little girl's hands with a millisecond of hot water. I'm a complete ass. I run cold water over them. Check out her hands. They are fine. Except she wants to talk about how Mommy burned her hands now. Super. She tells me she's going to tell her teacher about it. Was that a threat, little girl? I have to email the teachers about some other items of business. So I mention what happened. Usually the teachers reply to my emails right away, but as of current, they haven't. So, now I'm a bit concerned that when I pick up the kids at school today, they'll have CPS there waiting for me.

I think for the rest of the week, in an effort to not go over my quota of screw-ups, I'm going to live in a corner of my house. I'm going to just be very still and not jack up anymore. It's only Tuesday. This could get interesting.

I'm off to buy a new book so I can finish it and give it back without the shame of being washed in toilet water. And then I'm going to call my lawyer and put him on standby about the whole hand washing mishap.

That's how I roll.