Farley the WonderDog Part Three, Vol. 1

Some of you may remember our wondrous dog, Farley. If not....Perhaps I should direct you to Farley the Wonder Dog, vol. 1, parts 1 and 2. Be my guest.

Today, it's official, Farley is on Prozac. To some, this has been delaying the inevitable. To others, (ahem...RICARDO) this is ridiculous. "He's a DOG." Right. Farley has been in our lives for 9 years. And I think I can speak for my entire family, as well as many friends, and some one time only acquaintances, thanks to Farley, that indeed, is not merely just a dog. This coming from the same guy who snuggles up to the pooch every day. The dog, not my stomach. Farley spoons Ricardo every night while physically defying anyone to get between them. It's their special time.

I took Farley to the vet today for his check up. Dr. found a sebacious cyst, explained it was full of nasty stuff, then proceeded to make it ooze. It reminded me of popping a big ol zit and the nasty popping out right on to the mirror. I think Dr. thought it was fun. We have to keep an eye on that to make sure it doesn't abcess. Super.

Then Dr. mentioned how old and fat I was. Woops, I mean Farley. He mentioned how old and fat farley was. He's weighing in at 116 lbs. Down three from last year. YAY FARLEY! It's always fun to watch someone else get weighed.

We chatted a bit about Farley, and what to watch out for, and that's when he noticed his spot on his leg. It was bloody as Farley, just like his name sake, doesn't quite know his limits and when to stop, in this case, licking at a sore. Dr. reviewed his charts and noted that the sore, the open nasty sore, has been there since we've been seeing him. That's 3 years, folks. 3 years, he's had an open wound. Some days it's worse than others. Some point it out. "Oh, that, yeah, he licks a lot."

That's when Dr. hits me with, "We really need to stop that." As if I'm the one licking Farley's leg. I laugh it off, and the doctor says, "Uh, no, it's pretty bad." And that's when he tells me my options which is sour apple spray (been there, done that, didn't work...he licked it off), or Prozac. Really? Prozac?

"Yeah, it's the same thing as what you should take." Fine, he didn't really say that. He said, "It's just like what adults take." And then looked at me like I should totally be familiar with this drug. I'm not, for the record.

So, now, just like his namesak, Farley is on drugs. Sweet. Dr. goes and calculates Farley's weight, and then comes back with a bottle of gold...the prozac.

"So, if it's just like for adults, I could take this?" I say.

"Yes." he says.

I show an evil and fulfilled grin.

"BUT YOU SHOULDN'T" he says.

Fine. But I now have options.

I write the check, and drop the pills in my purse. And it occurs to me that maybe I shouldn't get pulled over on the way home. That would be awkward. "It's my dogs Prozac. I SWEAR!"

That's how I roll.