IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE DARN KIDS...

No, not my kids.

Some of you may not know that Ricardo had a baby before he met me. I know, it's shocking to imagine life before me. I know. On Friday, at high noon, his baby graduated. 18 years. Amazing. Fine, it's not the baby you think it is. No, this baby took more talent and discipline.

On Friday, some kid broke Ricardo's state track meet record high jump of 7'. A kid, who was NOT EVEN BORN WHEN THE RECORD WAS SET BY MY BABY, the kid jumped 7'4". The kicker, folks, is that I had no idea. Ricardo is so humble, I had to see on the news the night before that the kid could break the record. And lame as I am, I waited until Friday morning to tell Ricardo:

"Hey, some kid's going to break some record at the state track meet tomorrow."

"Yeah, I heard about that."

"Really," I said. "What's your record?"

"At the state track meet it's 7'."

"Baby, is that YOUR RECORD he's going to break?"

"Yep."

And he just kept working. Like, "Oh did you just take the trash out?" "Yep."

As mentioned before, I'm not the greatest, most graceful athlete. I did okay, and inevitably, set some records of my own. But trust me, the damned records were broken within 2 years, I'm sure of it. Okay, whew. I just checked the record books and I'm still in there, but BARELY. And I certainly don't hold the highest record. I'm in the top ten though, so that's nice. And that was college, not high school. In high school, I won awards like "The Spirit Award" in Choir. Translation: You're pretty much tone deaf, be we totally love your great personality.

My point is this, folks. You know what I did in high school? I GRADUATED. That's about it. Meanwhile this guy was jumping 7 FEET ...OVER A BAR. And he just sits there and works while some guy down the road is going to break his record. The record is amazing, but the fact that it's held strong for 18 years, just speaks volumes of how fabulous my man was, and is now.

I wanted to go to the meet and heckle the guy, maybe throw jacks or marbles on the ground or something. But Ricardo said no. Still, I wish I'd made him go out there to see it. And it would have been awesome for the kid to meet Ricardo. It's a treasure to know him, let alone, be married to the man. I think that would have been really cool for Ricardo, and especially the kid, that he went down there to watch it and shake the kids hand.

It turns out the record doesn't matter to Ricardo. Having our babies is his biggest accomplishment now. And that'll be another 18 year record! Even more!

So, fine, I'll be a good sport. Congratulations, Randal Carter of Papillion-LaVista. I hope you know what an amazing feat you've accomplished. Seize this moment and know that you have broken a record set by a man who has always been greater than that record. I hope you lead a life that trumps your state track meet record so that it's not your greatest accomplishment in life. We are proud of you and all that you have yet to accomplish.

That's how I roll.