Time Out

This is how I feel most of the time:

Yesterday morning, after a night filled with lectures on why the kids should listen and DO what mommy and daddy say, Lucy woke up at 7:06a.m.

By 7:07a.m. she was in a time out for not listening.

How is it that they can remember when mommy got a ticket from the police officer for going too fast a year ago, but can't remember to frikkin do what they are told!?

I was dreading the day. So I did what any mom just shy of a pop of Xanax would do, I loaded them up, took them to the gym. I checked them in to some fresh meat (those teenagers didn't see it coming, my kids could tear them apart) at the child care area and went and took a nap in the coveted steam room. I've mastered that art. Then I went and got my zen on at yoga.

Julz(Holla!) and I started what we now refer to as our Best Butts In The Gym workout. Hey, you do what you can to motivate. Don't judge me. And Julz(Holla!) got paged for a very mift baby. So, indeed, that meant I had to leave the workout too, right? So I saw some gal pals, and parked it in the cafe while we very intently avoided work out and but talked about our feelings. That's when my kids were walking through to go to open gym time. BUSTED. I was busted. They caught me sitting there enjoying myself. "Mommy has to go work out hard to be healthy" is no longer going to work with these kids. Crap.

While trying to greet them, after all, I'd just gotten my zen on and had my workout interrupted, I was having the best day ever, they'd made their way to the ice cream and plucked one each from the freezer. Out of sheer desperation so that I wouldn't have to argue, I said, "Sure! Charge it!" and so be it. I bought a little more time to talk about my feelings with the ladies while the kids sat quietly slurping down ice cream at 11a.m., an hour before lunch.

Sorry about that Ricardo. But that's why they didn't eat their lunch. Woopsie. It was that, or mommy throw back a Corona, which they also offer at the gym. I think the ice cream for the kids was a much safer choice, don't you?

Lucy only went back to her room for 2 more time outs that day. I let them do whatever they wanted. Crafts with glue in the living room on my couch? SURE! You want the EXTRA CHEESY Goldfish today? SURRRE! You want to squirt the chocolate syrup directly into your mouth instead of in your milk? Fine by me. I couldn't be more proud, hunny.

I call these days, Yes Days. I force myself to say yes, as long as it doesn't put them in immediate danger. We don't have too many of these days, but I think I need them more than they do. I also spent the majority of the afternoon laying on the couch. They seemed to be okay with it, so of course, I went with it.

But today is a new day. Maybe I'll make it a NO day. Mwwwahahahahah!
That's how I roll.