Shower Chronicles

I find it amusing at the following conversation. Even moreso is who was involved.

The other day, Julz's sister-in-law was in labor. This was very exciting because Julz would be a first time Auntie! And I love it when someone goes into labor because then I reflect on all the funnies and interesting things that happened to MEEEE when I was in labor. It's the last thing that happens that really matters about you. For nine months, you get to talk about yourself and all the fabulous miracles that are happening to you, and then, just like that...poof. All anyone cares about is those darn kids.

So, I like to reflect back to me. Like the fact that I'm pretty sure, in hindsight that the epidural wore off and I birthed TWO babies au-naturale. I've polled the greater population, and it turns out, when I explain my experience, that the effn nurse who told me, "oh, hunny, the epidural only covers so much down, once the babies drop down to a certain point, you'll just feel it." Not so with any other woman I've ever talked with. I went into labor at 4:30p.m. and got an epidural at a 3. At about 5 a.m., I started to feel the contractions at about an 8. I think the epidural either came out, or wore off. Sigh. I am such a bad ass. Let's just take this moment to absorb that: two babies....an hour and a half apart....over six pounds each. I need a stiff drink just reflecting on that. And I'm currently writing with one hand because I'm hi-fiving myself.

Enough about me, let's talk about the distant relative of a friend having a baby and how that affects me. ;) Okay, so, Julz is so dedicated that she still shows up at the gym, but brings her phone with her to work out, awaiting the call. We work out, and we get our stuff and go shower. Now before all you freaks out there are envisioning a scene from Porky's where all the hot chicks shower together, let me interrupt your freakness for just one minute and explain, there there are shower stalls, with curtains. Julz and I are close, but not THAT close. We do, however, get in the stalls next to each other so that we can continue our very important conversations while showering.

The phone rings. She'd strategically placed the phone outside the shower next to her towel and she was GETTING THE CALL!!!! WE HAVE A BABY! So, the phone rings, and Julz jumps out to get it. Meanwhile I'm turning off my shower and towelling off with my ten towels. And the conversation on the other end must have just been the funniest thing ever. Here's what I heard:

Julz, butt-naked and soaking wet (with dried off ear) "Hello?"..."Hi Dad...no, I'm at the gym, in the shower, I'm butt-naked with shampoo in my hair, so there better be a baby"

I'd stepped over to her shower to turn it off so she could hear better.

Julz: "Thanks Leslie.....no, that's Leslie...yeah, we're in the shower. So, no baby yet huh? More small talk and then, "Okay, I better let you go. Bye"

Her poor father. Wasn't it emotional enough that his son was about to be a father, but then to call and find out your daughter is showering with some chick she met online? Sigh. There's just no explaining it....

That's how I roll.