Turning boob envy into my advantage.

As seen here, I have issues with my, uh, er, well, fine, my boobies. Thankfully, Victoria's Secret is just a much more dignified way to say, "STUFFY THE BRA". I've got silicone implants...they're just in my bra, rather than in my body. I highly recommend it.

These are two of my dearest friends. I'm blessed with many dear friends, strategically dispersed throughout the U.S.A. However, THESE two friends are my two dear friends with the biggest knockers. One, actually called me to rub it in when she was pregnant to tell me she was a DOUBLE E! Or maybe it was Double F (it was, now that I think about it)....Still, anything past a C is impressive to me. And I was so ticked off of all the people she thought to call, she called me. Show off.

As you can see in the picture, silicone still can't help me possibly compete with these racks. I think at this point, I've posted pictures of me from the shoulders up. What I love about this picture is their enormous melons cover my love handles up just so that I look like I have a perfect hourglass figure. Finally, I can put someone else's cachongas to use to my advantage. From here on out, should I ever see boobs like this, rather than say, "BITCH", usually to myself. Or, "I hate her and her perfect boobs." I'll simply say, "Hey, can I get a picture with you!?"

That's how I roll.