The thing about disorders...

I'm watching a teaser for the local news today, and they are really riding the words "disorder" just a little too hard. "Understand your child's disorder. You can do something about it. Help them overcome your DISORDER." Tease tease tease. What's the disorder? More about overcoming it, how it can go undetected. Blah blah blah. And then they drop the bombshell: Shyness. This just ticked me off. So, I feel obligated to whip out my soapbox...

SHYNESS IS NOW DISORDER!? Screw off. Puhlease, people. I'm guessing someone wrote a book. And if this someone is a scientist, master of something, or dorcto of something, and did a study on shyness, it must be true.

I'm conducting a study of my own. It's very hands on, it's called Motherhood. And it goes a little something like this: your children are a reflection of yourself. Yes they are. Yes they are. YES THEY ARE! For example, I'm simplistic and insensitive to people with excuses, just like my father. I have his same expressions and facial expressions. I love road trips and I love to watch tv. I also love to fall asleep in the recliner. All of which my father was passionate about. On the flip side, I'm wacky, random artistically silly and one heck of a cook. Thank you, Mom.

My children take a tone with me and I want to lock myself in a closet and cry because they got it with me.

So, without further ado, let's pull our head out of the sand for a minute and address a few issues that have just fallen by the wayside:

-Shyness is a reflection of what you are doing to your child. It is NOT a disorder. In MY research, I've observed this more than I cared to. The parent is so shy, it's rude. I say hello to this one lady each week, and I get a glare. The child is meerly learning by what you're doing. Monkey see, monkey do, people. I do understand that I'm the total opposite of shy. Even so, if I chose to speak all the time for my children, I ultimately could be creating a shy child.

- "I learned it from you, dad....I learned it from you!" Every child of the 80s remembers that PSA about smoking pot. The dad gets all mad and asks where he learned it. Let's stop putting a tag like Disorders on behavioral issues and take a long hard look at what we're doing as parents.

-They can hear every word you're saying on the phone. Yes they can. Trust me. Get on the phone with your pal (prep the pal, or this could be awkward) tell them how to spell your son's name. Whisper it, like you don't want them to hear. And then a few hours later, see if he can spell his name. Or, get on the phone and start talking about Disneyworld. Again, whisper. Within a few hours you'll be getting questions about when you're going. It's the only time they listen, when moms are on the phone. They hear you talking about all of their quirks, they hear the explicatives, they hear how you really feel about your in-laws. They hear it all. And depending on what exactly you're talking about, it's probably the reason they have been diagnosed with shyness...they are poopin their pants at all the info they have in their little heads.
At my house, we try to be as honest as possible with the kids. But we want them to make their own judgements about our freaky dysfunctional family. To come to their own conclusions. So, we try not to talk about all you folks when they are around. ;)

- Tag and kickball are not what is causing low self-esteem at schools. No Child Left Behind is crap. Kids need to know about success, yes. But the only way you can truly appreciate success is by experiencing failure. As a teacher I see college students expecting good grades because they are nice people. It's a national epidemic that needs to stop. Stop the insanity people!

And stepping off soapbox, now.....
That's how I roll.