Careful, it's hot.

One of my biggest pet pieves in my life is when we order a kids meal, and the waiter hands it to the kid and says, "Careful, it's hot." No wonder that sweet old lady won a gazillion dollars from McDonalds over the coffee scalding her. Are you kidding me? Why would you hand a plate to a 3 year old and make a disclaimer: "Here's some french fries,but you're gonna have to just look at them for a while."

We were dining with Julz (Yes, it's either I'm with Julz, or at the gym...or if you're really lucky, I'm with Julz at the gym) and she's well aware of my pieve. We had four kids in tow. So, you can imagine my delight when the waitress brought a kids plate and said:"BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL...this plate is VERY HOT!" To my four-year old. I caught glances with Julz.

It's instances like this I really want to say something, but I'm so ridiculously angry, I have no idea how it will come out. So, this particular restaurant always has a manager come by. Here he comes. Funny how he waited until I was busy with the kids to stop by and ask the second most pet pieved question of mine, "Folks, how are WE doing here?" Well, I'm fine. Julz, you doing good? Yeah, okay, she's fine, how about you, sir, since you included yourself in the check of our comfort level? What's this WE stuff? If you want me to feel like you care, don't include yourself in the question. It's bad grammar and poor form, really. Geesh.

Well, so I'm busy with kids and food and am now insulted with the WE comment, I opt to not say anything. And that's when my girl steps up to the plate for me. Julz, the superstar of all friendships chimes in, "Well, the kids plates were a little hot." That's my girl! She's got my back. She was so polite about it, I should learn from her.

And that's when pet pieve numero tres rocks in. "Oh, did the WAITRESS bring your kids a hot plate?" how dare she. "Did she bring you an extra plate to serve it on?"

Oh, I know you DIDN'T just put this off on someone else! First of all, you train your people to pull the food out from under the heat lamp. I'm guessing since it was spaghetti, the "cooks" put it in some kind of steaming vat or a microwave to make the plate so hot. Secondly, you're the manager, don't serve spaghetti on a kids menu if you can't get it on a plate the kids can touch and the spaghetti so hot, they can't eat. Thirdly, if that waitress had brought me an extra plate for ME to SERVE it on, I probably would have gotten all Tom Cruise on her ass and jumped on my table. I came to a restaurant so my kids could get a balloon, and so I wouldn't have to serve nor do the dishes. Whew!

But I held back. I did try to reiterate that it was not the waitresses fault, but the protocol of the kids plates that is in DESPERATE need for review. I don't think he got it.

What managers don't get is that us Moms have been around the restaurant block a few times. We are veterans. Seasoned veterans. Even earning a few medals in restaurant wars. This manager, and most others, talk to us like we're, I don't know, like their condescending sons/daughters of a patient at an old folks home. Shame on you, you shouldn't talk to your parents like that either!

Sigh. Thank you Julz for upping our friendship to a whole new level. And from this, I've decided that restaurants need a Mom Audit. I need to go in, undercover, and note all changes to be made by April 15th. I wonder if I could get paid for that? Hmmmm....

That's how I roll.