OH I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST LEAVE ME HERE!

About a year ago, we loaded up my family and borrowed greatgramma's minivan (we were either that far behind or greatgramma is that advanced) to go clean out my dad's house. Sad as it was, we were in great need to sell it so that we weren't making two house payments. So we all migrated down to Texas to clean out the house.

The 15-hour road trip apparently was going just a little too smoothly. Only 45 minutes left in the trip, and the minivan stalled. It was 2 a.m. and we were in HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS.

After a little cell phone glory, we got someone to come out and help us. The tow truck and 19 year-old kid show up. Lo and behold, he doesn't carry gas in his truck. So, Chris comes to the door, locks it, and says,"Stay here, I'm going with him to get gas."

And if you're from Texas, you know about Huntsville, I'm just going to pause now for dramatic effect. Still pausing.

It was too quick for me to tell him, "You're leaving me and your children on the side of the road at 2 a.m. in Huntsville, Texas." Ricardo isn't from Texas. So, he doesn't know that Huntsville is home to THIRTEEN (that I can count) prisons/penetiaries, one (maybe more) being death row. Super.

Not enough time to tell him, "Oh I know you DIDN'T"

That was the longest 22 minutes I've ever experienced in my life. I checked to make sure my phone was on, thought to call someone. My thinking was, if I was on the phone with them, when the death row victim showed up to kill us all, I'd have someone on the phone to call 911. But who do I call? I didn't want to wake anyone up. And I hear all of my galpals through the screen as I type saying, "Oh GIRL YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME!" I know, I should have. In hindsight, it would have helped. But I didn't want to wake the babies up.

And there it is. You know you're a mom when you're not willing to phone for help because you're now going through the scariest Type A Scary Movie Scenario, simply on the basis that you'll wake the babies. DO NOT WAKE THE BABIES.

We sat, and waited.

When Ricardo got back to the car, I laid into him with what I tried to tell him when he left, "OH I KNOW YOU JUST DIDN'T LEAVE ME HERE! WE ARE SURROUNDED BY PRISONS!" His response was brilliant, but not at the time: "Baby, no prisonbreak is going to try to steal a car broken down on the roadside." Good point, but still, don't do that again. Baby, please, don't do that again.

Ricardo who is a car genius and the 19 year-old rookie could not figure out what was wrong with the car. They loaded it up on the flat bed of the tow truck. That's when the babies woke up. Oh, this was scary. I had to lay it out just right,
"The car broke. But Daddy got us help, and look, some nice man is going to tow us to get it fixxed."

They looked out to see how high up they were, and still in a daze, they were frightened. So, I tried again, this time, with success, "We're on a cool tow truck. Max, remember your toy tow truck you have at home? We're riding on one! Isn't that cool!?" I knew if I could sell one on the idea, the other would eventually calm down.

At the garage place, it was discovered that we'd have to stay overnight. And that's when it hit me, for the price it would cost to get it fixxed in the morning, we could have this guy tow us all the way to my dad's house. The kids and I rode on the back of a flatbed all the way to Destination Dad's house, while Ricardo rode up front with poor rookie tow truck guy who had to drive all the way back after we were done.

We made it. But I'm still bitter that Ricardo left me, so cute and petite, unable to fend for myself, in the middle of prime prison break country. I imagine that had anyone tried anything, I'd have whipped out a big ol can of woop ass to protect my kids. But I'm just sayin, baby, don't do that again!

In Ricardo's defense, he didn't know about Huntsville. I think it hit him later that the whole Carla Faye Tucker gig and a few others were broadcast there. But he didn't realize it then. He knows now. Oh, he knows now!

That's how I roll.