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I was a little nervous to move out of Texas. Then I reviewed that our President was from Texas, the woman who drowned her kids was from Texas, she's getting a new trial...in Texas, Kinky Friedman is running for Governor of Texas just for fun, Jessica Simpson wed my boyfriend in Texas, and an entire success of a restaurant is solely based on whether you can eat a 72 ounce steak or not in Texas.

So, after further thought, I realized that maybe Nebraska was a safer place, and I left the crazies behind. I also kissed Tex Mex food goodbye which still makes me tear up a bit on occasion. Nebraska has an issue with corn. Well, they just have a lot of it.

And then I got here.
And Alfred Hithcock suddlenly took over the other voices in my head. It all started at a grocery store. We got moved into our apartment, and before they could get our fridge unloaded, I was gasping, as if a need for oxygen, but instead, it was to fill the pantry with food. So, on a beautiful August Saturday afternoon, I went to a small local grocery store. That's when Mr. Hitchcock joined me. "Good Day, Madam. Have you noticed no one is in the store with you? Don't you find that odd?" Uh, wow, you're right Alfie, no one is here. It's a Saturday. Isn't this the prime pick for moms across America to ditch their kids and grocery shop. Not one person was in there. Alfred: "Do you like your grocery store music? It's not quite the tune your Granddad preferred." (My granddad loved what we referred to as grocery store music.) And that's when I had to giggle. The first Nebraska Football Game of the season was on....THE OVERHEAD SPEAKERS OF A GROCERY STORE! Wow, they're pretty serious about their Nebraska Football. But the finale was when I couldn't get anyone to check me out because the only person working (must have gotten the shortest straw) at the entire grocery store, was in the deli talking with another lady at the counter about defensive strategies. Two women in their upper 40's, talking specific playbook information. Now that would even creep Alfred Hitchcock out.

You'd think I'd be okay with this. I'm from Texas. Football is like water down thar. I was schooled that Tom Landry should be our next U.S. President at a very young age. It was a devastating couple of weeks at my house when he got fired. So, since he left the Cowboys, I'm out of the loop.

I also attended school in the Panhandle of Texas. The big school close by, Texas Tech, had a sign as you drove by on the highway that said, "Texas Tech, where the men are men, and the women are champions." My small school also incorporated several successful women's teams. If they don't get to regionals or nationals, it's not a successful year. We got coverage on the sports news because we were good. It was fun, and we earned it.

But here, it's absolute obsession. It's been explained to me that there's no professional teams here, so we have the cornhuskers. And yep, that's their mascot: The Nebraska Cornhuskers. I thought I'd seen it all with the grocery store incident a few years ago. But then there was a commercial for the Nebraska DMV mocking people getting personalized licensed plates that have something to do with Nebraska Football. The thing about it is how true it is. Here's some plates I've seen around town:
HUSKERZ
NE FAN
SKERZ
1 HUSKR
NEBFAN
FBOLFAN

and on and on and on.

Yesterday, I went into the gym, and their monthly party promotion is a "Nebraska Cornhusker Tailgate Party" It looks like someone threw up Nebraska Football all over the place. It's eerie. Everyone tailgates because the stadium sells out two years ahead. Getting a ticket to the Nebraska football game is like getting the Golden Ticket.

I'm all for the fun. I had a few doubts about the kids' birthday party: "You do know that's right at kickoff, don't you?" And when I explained that I did not know that, I was scalded even more.

Friday night, I'm watching the news and the sports guy literally tears up talking about opening day and kick off and what a privilege it is to work for THEM. Hello mister, but aren't there a few other sports you're "working for"? Like the other 2 colleges in Omaha, or, oh, I don't know, their kick ass volleyball team?

I thought the corn fields would be an issue. But really, an iffy football team, and the former coach is now a congressman. A successful football coach wins every election...hmmmm. I'm fairly certain, people find out where he lives and face his residence before they say their Husker prayer.

I'm all for obsession. I prefer to jump on the bandwagon of an already successful team. But I guess these people think they can stick with them. And really, it's in my favor. I can go to or host football parties and cook up a feast. It all balances out in the end. I left Texas crazies and just traded up for Nebraska crazies. Atleast Nebraska's statewide OCD is all in good fun. We've all got a little crazy in us somewhere. Here, they just all have the same crazy.

That's how I roll.