Thanks for thinking of us!

Max and Lucy,
I worry that one day you will have to endure all this. It's not all fun and glory. It will never end. However, there are many more benefits to being tall and standing out for it than not. For example, your dear mother is crazy and somewhat forgetful. But when someone talks about me, it's not ALWAYS, 'Hey, you know that dumb broad?" No, no, the beauty of it is, it would go something like this,
"Hey, you know that dumb broad in marketing?"
"Which one?"
"Oh, you know, the smoking hot TALL chick?"
"Oh yeah, she's so tall!" See there, it's got it's benefits.

So, dear kids, ultimately, it'll pay off. Until then, mommy is happy to scrap in the parking lot of the gym to defend your presence in the locker room. When you're twelve and playing in a YMCA basketball league and some lame ass dad is in the crowd slurring loudly, "We want to see that kids' birth certificate" I will proudly whip out my wallet sized-copy and teach that punk a lesson. Because, by golly, chances are, I'm bigger than that future idiot in the stands. And if not, I'll be forced to assault him with witty insults. And Lucy, if you are anything like now, there will be that force to be reckoned with.

Love, mommy

I've received an email from more than three people, and feel compelled to share with the world. Well, I'll share it with you. So without further ado, I need to thank the pals who take time out of their day to look out for me. Thank you for thinking of me, and my poor son, who I am sure, will outgrow this kid. Thank you for forwarding it to me. It's great inspiration that while my kids are jumping from the formal antique couch to the stairs and back, indeed, that'll be great movie clips for ESPN.

This poor kid looks like he's sick of the "Hey, can you do a trick for us you big ass performing monkey?"

Here's the email I've been getting: This could be your son in a few years.

By the way, my kids are approaching 4 years-old, and standing at 45" tall. For those of you less than tall people out there in denial, that's just 3" shy of 4 feet tall. They grew out of their church shoes in a two week period. And when I say grew out of them, I mean, I couldn't force their foot to go in the shoe, at all. A trip to the shoe store and a measuring of their feet later, they are in shoes that are two full sizes too small. In this last year, that is the second time I've figured out their shoes are two sizes too small. You'd think that since I did this entire song and dance, standing at 6' at 12 years old myself, I'd have a grip on it. But no, I'm stunned everyday.

I wonder if this 6'8" little leaguer kid is any good. Growing that tall that fast can really slow a person down. That's my explanation of my own experience anyways. I'm not a great fan of baseball, but the kids are signed up for T-ball this fall. I'm hoping for an indoor sport. And Max is dribbling, shooting, batting and pitching with his left hand. God Bless him.

I smell a beach house that we can name "college fund".

That's how I roll.