Putting the func back in dysfunctional

It's occurred to me in the last several days that my family is looney. They are nuts. Certifiable. For example, I come from a long lineage of some fun, and some not so fun alcoholics. And I'm a firm believer that everyone needs the 12-step program. Be it for chocolate, over eating, drugs, you purple people and cat lovers could use a good program too...

I also come from a long line of doom on the marriage side. A few months ago, it was brought to my attention that it was national marriage day. I couldn't think of a soul to call on my side of the family to celebrate with. Oh wait, I just thought of one. As a matter of fact, my grandmother once told me, "Your dad is my favorite ex-son-in law." Of all the things to say, that really was a nice compliment.

What I'm most proud about is that we're out about it. We're here, we're crazy, and we're here to stay! Sure, there may be a lot of fun to jab at with us southerners on Jerry Springer just layin it all out there. But there's something to be said for that. We lay it out there, we laugh about it and then we eat. Bring it on, Dr. Phil. BRING IT.

I'm currently in a land where, ahem, we just don't do that. We don't talk the evils of feelings, or honesty, or dare we ever lay blame or laugh at something dark from the past. And so, I stick out like a sore thumb here. As if being a giant with a twang wasn't enough. Some tread lightly around me, others have taught their children to stay away from me, some knock back a few lemon drops with me and then go home and shame me to their family. That's alright, hunny. Whatever makes you feel better.

Today, I almost doubted myself about...my...self. And now I'm mad at myself for almost doubting myself. You follow? I know I can be obnoxious. I am well aware that my laughing early morning or late nights breaks some kind of quiet code with the home owners association. And clearly, I have lost my mind to have delved out this much information about my uterus. But lets face it, life is funny.

I'd rather have it my way. Just lay it all out there. Laugh obnoxiously. Let one rip hunny, a gut wrenching, no-need-for-ab-workout laugh. Pull that stick out and laugh at yourself. If you don't, I'll simply have to laugh at you, and that wouldn't be fun, now would it.

I'm not your average girl. Not your average wife, mother, sister, daughter or friend. I don't even know what avereage is, but I know I'm not it. But I'm just honest, because if you're holding something back, or tweeking the truth then you're doing something wrong. And if you're denying that, then you really are doing something wrong, and you know it.

All I'm saying is, put the func back in dysfunctional. Laugh at yourself, and others, just frikkin let it go. If you don't laugh at yourself, someone else will. It'll probably be me, by the way. And I have no shame. That's all I'm sayin.

That's how I roll.