We joined this fairly posh gym. Well, it's posh for me. I've been a jock all my life, so you can imagine my shock when THE GLORY DAYS ended and I had to discover that not only did I have to work out on my own, no coach shouting at me, "Hey lard ass, wanna play? Just kidding, you're too slow." (She never said that, but I bet she thought it a time or two.) But, then to discover I have to PAY to go to the gym? That's messed up! So, on principle, I protested and didn't go….got fat, joined a gym, and have been working it off ever since.
This new gym is a mother's paradise. Go in, drop the kids off, do my thang. Always a cardio machine available, or an indoor track, three courts, swimming, outdoor pools and tennis for summer time. The kids are signed up for any class I want them to go to. Annnnd, the gym provides towels. Just not having to pack a towel is great, but also, they never run out of towels...EVEN BETTER! Considering I'm so tall, and have the hips (note previous post), I need lots of towels. And when I say lots of towels, I'm talking three to go in the steam room to warm up (it's a long story, but I hate running 1/3 of my run with cold feet, it's a bitch. Viva la steam room.) So three for the steam room warm up, one sweat towel for the workout, three for the steam room cool down (me likey the steam room, back off!), and then three for my shower. Ten towels. These people see me walk by every day, and happily provide me with ten towels a day. I imagine, they are happy to provide me with those towels for the same reason I take them: to cover up.
Yes, I've been a jock all my life, and am still modest after all this time. I never thought I was modest, until I joined this gym. One lady, who I've coined as Naked Chick, I met today. Thankfully, when I met her, she had clothes on…that could have been weird otherwise. Today, she had clothes on. Nice lady, but I've never seen anything like it. She gets done with her work out, takes off the clothes, big baggy clothes, mind you, and I just wait in awe for her to put something back on. She's not ugly, not fat. She's in good shape. But still, ladies, you’ll agree, that if some fairly attractive lady just stood there at the vanity NAKED. No undies, no nothing. Just naked. NAKED. Washed her face, brushed teeth, moisturized, dried hair, put make up on. Then you'd think she went to get her clothes on?. Oh NO! Someone walks in she knows, and she stands there, NAKED talking to them. It's freaky.
No, I'm not staring this entire time. That would make ME freaky, and I'm not freaky like that. I have better issues. Moving on. But you just know when someone around you is naked. You're definitely aware of who is clothed and who is naked in your presence. Okay, so she finishes talking, oh thank you Lord, she'll put her clothes on now.
Are you kidding me? She's going to lotion her entire body in front of us all? We have to watch her rub her body? Ew. Eventually, and almost painfully, for her, but to my relief, she gets dressed.
I don't get it. I just don't get it. I think I have a fairly normal body image, other than the fact I don't think others should see me naked. It's just freaky. And today, while I'm in the steam room, which technically, you need to de-robe to let those pores open. I'm sitting there, minding my own biz, when out of the blue, the only other lady in there, starts doing abs and STRETCHING? I know she saw me come in. What the hell? I'm not going into details, but let's just say, the steam had worn off, and I didn't need to see that. I sincerely felt violated. Ick. That's great if you're all good in your own skin. But can we have the naked people limited to the north side of the building please? Is that too much to ask? A little sign that says, "Happy Naked people to the left, Normal Toweled people to the right." Is that too much to ask?
Sigh, my perfect gym, has a flaw of flawed naked people. Do you think the happy naked folks are irritated or feel uncomfortable around us toweled people? Hmmmm.
That's how I roll.