I was taken off guard yesterday, when my son announced after quiet time that he'd stuck a bean in his ear. I just couldn't figure it out. So I had him show me where he got the culprit, to which he brought me to my cold left over bowl of deliciously homemade Mexican Bean soup. Oh super, a MEXICAN BEAN. Surely, the boy didn't mash a cooked bean in his ear, but what the heck was he talking about? The kid would not stop messing with his ear and saying how much it hurt. So, I did what I always do, I called the doctor. We've only been going to this doctor for about a year, and I'm guessing we've been to see him on average, once a month at the very least. But as of late, per the broken arm, and Max had the croupe last week, Phil and I are on a first name basis.
Half embarrassed I phone the doctor. "Yeah, if he stuck something in his ear, and he's in pain, the doctor will need to see him." Super. So I'm trying to save a co-pay here, "Well, if there IS a bean in there, it's a cooked bean. Can't it just work itself out?" Hey, I'm a journalism major. It's worthy of inquiring about. "Uhm, no, the doctor will have to get it out."
Yay. We head to the doctor, and Max gets checked out. I'm amused at "Jim" a med student doing rounds with Phil. He's a young guy still trying to figure out what specialty, and at present, pediatrics is looking pretty entertaining from my visit alone. Phil, the doctor, not to be confused with Dr. Phil, says, "No bean, but a disgusting ear infection. I see why he said there was a bean in his ear, it probably feels like it." Lovely. At this point I'm laughing, Phil is laughing, Lucy is laughing, but Jim and Max, not so much. Max is in pain, and Jim can't figure us out. Phil has grown twin boys, so he gets it with me a lot these days.
Then Phil opts to look in Max's nose and throat, "Aha," he says giving Jim the opportunity to see what a massive throat infection looks like, "We need to swab him for Strep." Yes, thank you and here's your mother of the year card, Les. Ugh. Okay, so with little tears of guilt welling up, I suggest he check out Lucy who has actually been mentioning a throat thing inconsistently. Her throat doesn't look as bad, but a little swollen, they swab her.
We go in with a bean in Max's ear. And come out with Max having an ear infection and throat infection, no strep. However, Lucy has strep throat. Good googly, will it ever end!?
Ricardo said that last night, while I was out, there was mention among the two conspirators that Lucy may have planted the idea that a bean was in Max's ear. So I'm sure their conversation went something like this:
Max: "My ear hurts."
Lucy with great imagination and explorer skills: "MAX, is there a BEAN in your ear!?"
Max, after brief consideration of the idea:"Yeah, I've got a bean in my ear. MOOOOMMMMM, I have a bean in my ear."
And so it goes.
We're spending the day quarantined. I'm still not sure how I'll break it to Lucy that she can't go infect her ballet class this afternoon. But I refuse to be the jackass to bring the kid anyway, and just not tell anyone. That's probably how they got sick in the first place. So I'll do my part and try to stop the cycle. I think I'll load them up in the car and do the little wildlife safari today. We'll stay in the car, won't infect animals or kids, and they'll see new things, not from the TV. Should be a good match for the day.
That's how the bean rolls.
